Unplug & Reconnect: Time with Yourself

By Olivia grossklaus, amft

In a world that never stops buzzing, notifications pinging and news cycling, it’s easy to forget what silence feels like. We fill every spare moment with stimulation: music on our commutes, podcasts during workouts, scrolling before sleep. Spending time alone with yourself and your thoughts isn’t just a luxury but a necessity for your mental, emotional, and even creative well-being.

When you're constantly consuming, whether it's news, entertainment, or social media, your brain never really gets a chance to digest. Unplugging allows your mind to settle. In that quiet space, patterns emerge. Problems that felt overwhelming start to make sense. You gain perspective. It's hard to know what you think or feel when you're constantly absorbing the voices of others. Alone time gives you a chance to hear your own. What do you believe? What do you want? What brings you joy, discomfort, or meaning?

This self-awareness isn’t just philosophical. It affects the way you make decisions, how you set boundaries, and what you prioritize. If you’re always tuned into the world, you might not realize when you’ve lost touch with yourself.

We often confuse rest with sleep, but your brain also needs waking rest, or time when it’s not reacting to input. Time when it's just... being. These moments are when creativity often strikes. When seemingly random thoughts connect. When ideas bubble up from deep within. Unplugging gives your brain space to wander, and that's where some of your best insights will come from.

When you spend time alone, you learn to sit with discomfort, boredom, sadness, anxiety, and you realize those feelings don’t have to be escaped immediately. You don’t need to scroll them away or binge-watch them into silence. You begin to trust that you can handle your own emotions, which is the root of real resilience.

Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. In fact, solitude can be deeply nourishing when it's intentional.

Digital life is often reactive: You answer emails, respond to messages, jump from one app to the next. Alone time lets you respond, not just react. It allows you to choose how to move forward instead of getting swept along.

This shift, however small, can make a big difference in how you show up in relationships, work, and life.

Simple Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

● Take a walk without your phone. Listen to the world around you.

● Journal for 10 minutes. No prompts, just let your mind wander.

● Have a tech-free morning or evening once a week. Notice how you feel.

● Practice mindfulness or meditation. Even 5 minutes can ground you.

● Do something analog. Read a book, paint, cook, garden. anything screen-free.

The world will keep spinning. Your inbox will keep filling. Your feeds will never end. But if you want to feel grounded, whole, and in touch with what matters to you, you have to pause and listen inward.

Unplugging isn't about rejecting technology. It's about reclaiming your attention. It's about remembering that you are more than what you consume. And that within you, there’s a quiet, steady presence waiting to be heard.

Spend time with yourself.

What is your relationship to your screen(s)? And how does it show up in your relationships?

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By Sasha Taskier, LMFT

There may be hours throughout the day when I haven’t looked at my phone, and haven’t even picked it up from my night table the evening before. But there are certainly many (many) other moments when I find myself mindlessly scrolling, using my phone for one thing (like, checking the weather) only to find myself texting, or on Instagram, and completely forgetting to check if it is actually going to rain. Perhaps worse, my partner or my child will be talking to me, needing my undivided presence and attention, and I will be distracted by my phone. I will readily admit that my relationship with my screens, isn’t where I’d like it to be, nor is it what I want to be modeling as a parent.

I know I am not alone in this quest. Almost every client (or friend, or family member) I talk to about their phone use, will readily admit that they use their phone too much. That social media brings depression and anxiety to their lives yet they can’t find a way to stop. For many of us, our phones are the last thing we look at before bed, and the first thing we look at when we wake up. And it is making an impact on us, and our relationships.

A few thoughts for those of us who may be wanting a reset button on our screens:

• Designate a few times a day when you do not have your phone out. Perhaps this is during your morning routine, as you make coffee and prepare for the day. I would highly recommend tech-free meals - which creates an opportunity to have a more mindful eating experience, but also, to connect with your colleagues during lunch time (or quietly by yourself!) and your loved ones at the end of the day.

• Utilize your screen time app. Apple came out with the capacity for us to better track our phone usage. You can set app limits (I try to do only 30 minutes on social media a day!) There is a “downtime” option, which allows you to go semi-dark from your calls and apps. Overall, it’s helpful to see how much time you are on your phone. The number might be absolutely shocking, and can be a great starting place to reassess your usage. Some tips on how to do this effectively, here.

• How much do you talk to your partner during the day? Many of us are in constant contact with our partners and friends throughout the day. Whether that is texting, Instagram messaging, Snap chatting etc. Try limiting your contact throughout the day, and make the moment when you get home from work an opportunity to actually hear about your partner’s day. It’s easy to tune out if you have already heard everything through text in a play by play starting at 9 am. Make the end of day reunion a meaningful opportunity to connect, tech-free.

• Make a tech-free date night. The majority of the couples I work with talk about increasing intimacy, connection, and communication as their main goals. One of the go-to interventions is date night. But, if date night is spent with one or both partners on their phones, or constantly being pulled out of the IRL conversation to respond to a text or a call elsewhere, our ability to open up, become more vulnerable and intimate is hampered. Turn your phone on silent, put it away and look at each other.

A few other articles on the topic:

How Your Smartphone Might Sabotage Your Relationship

Tips for Parents to Put Away their Phones

Screen Time is Sabotaging Our Relationships

Does Screen Time Mess Up our Relationships?