How to Set Boundaries With Your Phone While Not Feeling Isolated

By Nicole Carroll, lmft

If you’ve ever tried to use your phone less, you probably already know that it’s not that simple. Your phone isn’t just a device. It’s how you connect, unwind, stay informed, and sometimes even avoid things or feelings. So when people suggest cutting back, it can feel less like self-care and more like losing access to your life.

Many of my clients say some version of “I don’t want to be glued to it, but I don’t want to miss things either.” “Why does being unavailable make me anxious?” If that resonates, you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re running into a very real and common issue which is the need for connection vs. the need for mental space. Let’s talk about how to create boundaries that support both.

Before we get into strategies, it helps to explore and understand what’s actually happening underneath. When you step away from your phone, you might notice a spike in anxiety, a fear of missing out, sense of disconnection, or even guilt for not responding right away. This isn’t just about habits. it’s about attachment and safety. Your brain has learned that being reachable means being connected which means being safe. Therefore, the goal isn’t less phone time but more intentional use. Try asking yourself “when does my phone actually support me, and when does it drain me?”. This mindset highlights the choice you’re making when it comes to how you spend your time. 

Ways to Set Phone Boundaries:

Start With “Soft Boundaries,” Not Extreme Ones: Going from constant scrolling to full restriction is a big jump. Your brain will push back. Instead, try to implement smaller changes like not using your phone for the first 20 minutes of your morning or putting your phone in another room while you eat.

Replace, Don’t Remove: One reason phone boundaries feel so empty is because nothing is taking their place. If you remove scrolling, ask yourself, “what am I actually needing in this moment?” Is it a distraction, comfort, connection, rest? Whatever it is, then replace it with something that meets that need. Such as texting one person instead of scrolling or going for a walk with music/podcast. Boundaries work better when they feel like a trade, not a loss.

Create “Connection Windows”: Create a time where you check messages and respond versus always being available. This helps your nervous system relax because connection is still guaranteed, just not constant.

Notice the Emotional Pull (Not Just the Habit): Next time you reach for your phone, pause for a second and explore the feelings that come up such as boredom, loneliness, overwhelm, or avoidance. Your phone isn’t the problem, but it’s the solution you have associated to the feelings. When you understand the feeling, you have more choice in how to respond.

Redefine What “Being Connected” Means: You have to do the deeper work to break the current belief and narrative that you hold about connection and what that looks like. Connection is feeling understood, being present, and having boundaries in relationships. Connection does not need to look like being constantly available and responding to everything right away. You don’t lose connection by stepping away from your phone. You often make space for a more meaningful version of it.

Boundaries may feel hard, and that is completely understandable, but it is not impossible. It is more information for you that the deeper work needs to be done. Instead of becoming someone who barely uses their phone, a more sustainable goal might be using it in a way that supports your mental health and creating more balance. If this is something you’re struggling with, you’re not alone. Navigating connection in a digital-focused world is genuinely hard and it makes sense that your system is trying to keep up the best way it knows how.

The Benefits of Reading

By Olivia grossklaus, amft

In a fast-paced, screen-heavy world, reading remains one of the simplest yet most powerful habits you can build for your overall well-being. Beyond entertainment or learning, reading offers a surprising range of health benefits that impact both mind and body.

One of the most immediate benefits of reading is stress reduction. Getting lost in a good book can lower heart rate and ease muscle tension, helping your body relax after a long day. Even just 10 minutes of focused reading can create a calming effect similar to meditation.

Reading also strengthens brain function. It engages multiple areas of the brain at once, language processing, imagination, memory, and critical thinking, keeping your mind sharp.

Another major benefit is improved focus and concentration. In contrast to the constant interruptions of digital life, reading encourages sustained attention. Training your brain to focus on a single narrative can improve productivity and mental clarity in other areas of life.

Additionally, reading supports emotional health. Fiction, in particular, allows you to step into different perspectives, building empathy and emotional intelligence. It can also provide comfort, inspiration, and a healthy escape during difficult times.

Finally, reading before bed can improve sleep quality. Replacing blue-light heavy screen time with a physical book helps signal to your brain that it’s time to wind down, making it easier to fall asleep naturally.

Incorporating reading, whether fiction or non-fiction, into your daily routine doesn’t require hours, only a few consistent minutes each day can make a meaningful difference. Your mind and body will thank you.

Cognitive Dissonance: Using Discomfort as a Tool for Self-Awareness

By Anne Decore, lmft

Have you ever done something that didn’t quite align with your values? Then did you find yourself quickly explaining it away? That uncomfortable tension is known as cognitive dissonance, a concept first introduced by psychologist Leon Festinger. Cognitive dissonance refers to the mental discomfort we feel when our beliefs and behaviors don’t match.

Because this discomfort is unpleasant, we’re naturally motivated to reduce it. Research shows that we often do this not by changing our behavior, but by changing the story we tell ourselves.

Consider a common example: someone who values being financially responsible but makes an impulsive purchase. The dissonance between “I’m careful with money” and “I just spent this without much thought” creates discomfort. Instead of sitting with that tension, the mind may step in with a quick justification. “It was on sale,” or “I’ve been working hard, I deserve this.” The discomfort fades, and the conflict, temporarily, goes unexplored.

If we pause instead of immediately justifying, we may notice two competing truths: “I value being intentional with money” and “I’m feeling depleted and want a reward.” From there, a more aligned choice or outcome can be accessed. Perhaps it looks like delaying the purchase, choosing something smaller, or finding another way to meet the need for relief. Or, it may mean making the purchase—but doing so consciously rather than reactively.

This is the real value of cognitive dissonance: it increases self-awareness. The discomfort becomes a signal that something meaningful is in conflict. Working with cognitive dissonance involves noticing the tension, getting curious about what’s underneath it, and then making a more intentional choice. Research suggests that even small shifts in behavior, when aligned with our values, can reduce dissonance and increase a sense of integrity over time.

Cognitive dissonance isn’t something to avoid or simply tolerate. It’s something to use. When we learn to pay attention to that internal friction, it can guide us toward choices that feel more aligned with who we want to be.

Movement Heals Mind, Body and Soul

By Bree Nussbaum, LMFT

Are you inspired watching the Olympic athletes compete this winter? I am in awe of these athletes and how they excel in their individual sport. They endure rigorous training that challenges their bodies and mental health. These individuals and teams take physical activity to the next level for that chance to win gold and even the chance to compete at all. Although most of us will never compete at the highest level in an Olympic event; the average person watching these athletes on TV can reap some of the same benefits these athletes experience. We don’t have to be athletes lifting weights 6 hours a day; simple daily activities like walking, riding bikes with the family, or even dancing around the kitchen can help.

As humans, we are embodied beings and moving our bodies honors our whole health. Movement is an excellent way to promote mental, emotional, physical and sexual health. Physical activity is all around helpful as all of these different areas of our health impact the others. 

Mental and emotional health benefits from movement include: 

• Reduce stress, anxiety and depression 

• Boost self-esteem and confidence 

• Increase energy and focus

Physical health benefits include: 

• Cardiovascular health

• Disease prevention 

• Muscle and bone strength 

• Sleep 

Sexual health benefits include: 

• Increased interest and arousal 

• Boosted confidence and body image 

• Balancing hormones

While all of these benefits are helpful, another important piece of movement is pairing it with rest. Did you know the body repairs itself while it is sleeping? Our bodies, minds and hearts deeply need rest. Remember to take care of yourself by both moving your body and being gentle with yourself.

Why You Feel Drained, Even After Doing Nothing

By Olivia Grossklaus, amft

Have you ever had a day where you didn’t do much, yet still ended it feeling completely

exhausted? It can be confusing and even frustrating. If you weren’t physically busy, why do you

feel so drained?

The answer is often that rest isn’t just about what you do with your body but also about

what’s happening in your mind and nervous system.

Mental and emotional load plays a huge role in fatigue. Even when you’re sitting still, your brain

may be working overtime: replaying conversations, worrying about the future, managing stress,

or staying constantly alert. This kind of background mental activity can be just as tiring as

physical work, if not more so.

Another factor is chronic stress. When your body spends long periods in “fight or flight” mode,

it uses a lot of energy. Over time, this can leave you feeling worn down, foggy, or heavy,

regardless of how productive your day looks on the surface. You might not feel stressed in an

obvious way, but your nervous system hasn’t fully relaxed.

There’s also a difference between passive rest and restorative rest. Scrolling on your phone,

binge-watching shows, or zoning out can feel like rest, but they don’t always allow your mind or

body to truly reset. In some cases, they add more stimulation instead of relieving it.

Feeling drained can also be a sign that you’re emotionally carrying a lot, such as responsibilities,

expectations, unprocessed feelings, or the pressure to “hold it together.” Emotional energy is real,

and when it’s depleted, your body notices.

If this resonates, it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or broken. It means you might need a different kind

of rest: quiet, boundaries, movement, time outside, or moments where you’re not performing or

consuming anything at all.

Sometimes, doing “nothing” isn’t enough. Your system needs safety, softness, and space, and

listening to that need is a form of care.

The Month That Asks Nothing of You

By Anne Decore, lmft

January often gets a bad rap. It’s described as cold, gray, and anticlimactic — the month after the sparkle, when the holidays are over and the energy drops. Culturally, we tend to frame it as something to push through or fix with resolutions and productivity. But what if that reading misses something important?

What January uniquely offers is pause.

Unlike much of the calendar year, January is relatively free of major cultural obligations. There are fewer gatherings, fewer expectations to perform or produce, fewer milestones demanding our attention. In a world that usually pulls us relentlessly outward — from one task to the next, one role to the next — January quietly creates space to turn inward.

From a therapeutic perspective, this matters. So much of our distress comes not only from what we’re carrying, but from how little time we have to process it. We move through experiences without metabolizing them — grief, joy, disappointment, love — stacking them one on top of another. January offers a rare opportunity to slow the pace enough to notice what’s actually happening inside us.

This isn’t a call for New Year’s resolutions. In fact, it’s an invitation to release that pressure altogether. January doesn’t need to be about fixing yourself, optimizing your life, or setting goals for results. It can be about presence — about standing still long enough to ask gentler, more meaningful questions.

What feels important to me right now?

What have I been rushing past without noticing?

What do I want to tend to within my inner life?

In slowing down, we loosen the grip of externally driven priorities and begin to listen more carefully to what feels meaningful and deserving of our energy. From this place of stillness, we can see more clearly how much of our lives are organized by momentum and expectation, and we can begin to reorder our priorities in ways that feel aligned, sustainable, and intentional.

January is a gift precisely because it asks so little of us. It doesn’t demand outcomes. It doesn’t insist on reinvention. It simply offers time — to think, to feel, to notice the world and ourselves from a standstill.

If you find yourself quieter this month, less driven, more contemplative, consider that nothing is wrong. You may simply be using January as it is best served — as a moment to listen, to reflect, and to connect with yourself before the calendar picks up again.

Unplug & Reconnect: Time with Yourself

By Olivia grossklaus, amft

In a world that never stops buzzing, notifications pinging and news cycling, it’s easy to forget what silence feels like. We fill every spare moment with stimulation: music on our commutes, podcasts during workouts, scrolling before sleep. Spending time alone with yourself and your thoughts isn’t just a luxury but a necessity for your mental, emotional, and even creative well-being.

When you're constantly consuming, whether it's news, entertainment, or social media, your brain never really gets a chance to digest. Unplugging allows your mind to settle. In that quiet space, patterns emerge. Problems that felt overwhelming start to make sense. You gain perspective. It's hard to know what you think or feel when you're constantly absorbing the voices of others. Alone time gives you a chance to hear your own. What do you believe? What do you want? What brings you joy, discomfort, or meaning?

This self-awareness isn’t just philosophical. It affects the way you make decisions, how you set boundaries, and what you prioritize. If you’re always tuned into the world, you might not realize when you’ve lost touch with yourself.

We often confuse rest with sleep, but your brain also needs waking rest, or time when it’s not reacting to input. Time when it's just... being. These moments are when creativity often strikes. When seemingly random thoughts connect. When ideas bubble up from deep within. Unplugging gives your brain space to wander, and that's where some of your best insights will come from.

When you spend time alone, you learn to sit with discomfort, boredom, sadness, anxiety, and you realize those feelings don’t have to be escaped immediately. You don’t need to scroll them away or binge-watch them into silence. You begin to trust that you can handle your own emotions, which is the root of real resilience.

Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. In fact, solitude can be deeply nourishing when it's intentional.

Digital life is often reactive: You answer emails, respond to messages, jump from one app to the next. Alone time lets you respond, not just react. It allows you to choose how to move forward instead of getting swept along.

This shift, however small, can make a big difference in how you show up in relationships, work, and life.

Simple Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

● Take a walk without your phone. Listen to the world around you.

● Journal for 10 minutes. No prompts, just let your mind wander.

● Have a tech-free morning or evening once a week. Notice how you feel.

● Practice mindfulness or meditation. Even 5 minutes can ground you.

● Do something analog. Read a book, paint, cook, garden. anything screen-free.

The world will keep spinning. Your inbox will keep filling. Your feeds will never end. But if you want to feel grounded, whole, and in touch with what matters to you, you have to pause and listen inward.

Unplugging isn't about rejecting technology. It's about reclaiming your attention. It's about remembering that you are more than what you consume. And that within you, there’s a quiet, steady presence waiting to be heard.

Spend time with yourself.

Pets Pawsitive Impact on Overall Wellbeing

By Bree nussbaum, AMFT

Animals are proven to enhance health in a variety of ways including mental and physical wellbeing. From a holistic point of view, they make a welcome addition to any home and for all family members.  

Mental health benefits 

Creating a secure attachment: Sometimes relationships with humans can become insecure resulting in challenges and confusion. Pets can serve as secure attachments and help us understand how to open ourselves up again to relationships and loving someone. Dogs in particular are companions that show unconditional love.

Reducing stress: Research shows that relationships with pets can decrease cortisol levels which are a stress-related hormone. Pets like fish may be particularly calming to watch them swim back and forth. 

Reducing loneliness: Pets can be a companion and something that often needs your love and care. Caring for a pet can help to reduce loneliness and increase sense of purpose. 

Improved Mood: Having a pet around can help improve mood. Perhaps your pet makes you smile or knows when you are upset. A pet can help you regulate in order to improve your mood. 

Physical health benefits 

Increasing activity: Two or three shorter walks a day with your dog, or playing with a cat around the home can help increase daily activity and get your body moving. The benefits are twofold with you and your pet both getting exercise! 

Lowering blood pressure: Living with animals in the home has also proved to reduce blood pressure for the owners. 

Caretaking for yourself and your pet: Taking care of something else, might encourage you to take better care of your physical health. For example, in a group of teens with diabetes, some were in charge of taking care of a fish while others only had to manage their health. The teens with the extra responsibility of the fish were more likely to regularly check their blood glucose levels and take care of themselves more than the control group.  

Overall, pets positively impact our physical, emotional and mental health. Whether big or small, all pets can encourage positive change in their new home. Consider the options that best serve you and your daily life and see how pet ownership could transform your health. 

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2018/02/power-pets

The Benefits of Mindfulness and Movement

By Bree Nussbaum, AMFT

Our body operates on its own every day to keep our heart pumping, our blood flowing and our lungs breathing. Since the body is so autonomous in its care for us, many of us forget to return the favor and take care of our bodies. We live cut off from our bodies, not paying attention to what information our bodies share with us or what our bodies might need from us. Fostering a deeper connection with our bodies through mindfulness and movement allows us to improve emotional, mental, physical health simultaneously. 

Exploring Mindfulness 

Did you know our central nervous system can inform our body of our emotions faster than our brains can recognize these shifts in emotion? As you begin to attune yourself to your body you may notice different sensations that can give you a heads up to how you‘re feeling. Have you ever heard the expression of a hot head who is angry? Or the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach? We use these sayings casually in conversation because we can relate to our bodies responding to situations in these ways. However, these somatic symptoms are real responses to anger and anxiety. Sometimes we notice these symptoms after it is too late and our behaviors reflect our body’s dysregulated state, e.g., lashing out in anger at a family member. By paying attention to our bodies we can slow down our nervous systems and remind our bodies we are relaxed and safe therefore making a difference in our behaviors. 

Practicing mindfulness and paying attention to your body can happen in different ways:

• In the moment. Notice in your body where you are feeling any emotion: joy, sadness, anger, fear, etc. Often, the same emotion tends to show up in the same area of our individual body. 

• Intentional practice. Set aside time to engage in physical mindfulness. Whether a body scan, progressive muscle relaxation, an informal mindful walk or mindful eating, slow your body down and pay attention to what you are doing and how your body is reacting. 

Exploring Movement 

Most people understand movement and physical activity is important for the physical body. As discussed above, our brains and bodies are so connected that there are many psychological and emotional benefits to regular movement. According to the Association of Applied Sports Psychology (AASP) regular physical activity can improve mood, reduce stress and improve ability to cope with stress, improve self esteem, increase energy and confidence and decrease symptoms of depression. So, how much exercise is needed to achieve these benefits? The AASP recommends for short term benefits just 10 minutes of low intensity aerobic exercise can show benefits. For long term benefits, the AASP says 30 minutes of exercise, 3 days a week should do the trick. Remember, exercise accumulates. So, three 10 minute walks a day are equivalent to an uninterrupted 30 minute walk.  

Reminders for movement: 

• Enjoy what you do. If you love a certain type of exercise, you are more likely to do it regularly. Explore different options. Some people are runners; however, that is not the only way to exercise. Find a dance class, walk with friends or go to YouTube to find a workout that works for you. 

• Yoga is an ancient exercise that combines certain postures with breath to incorporate mindfulness into exercise. There are many different types of yoga, find the right fit for you! 

• Notice pain, tension or differences in your body during exercise. Often, we do not pay attention to our bodies during exercise and instead put all of our focus on getting through the workout. Remember to engage all senses and care for your body especially while moving it!

Overall our bodies are beautiful and amazing vessels created to house our souls. So, let’s treat them that way through mindfulness and movement. Discuss the right options for you with your therapist or primary care provider before engaging in new mindfulness or physical activities.

RESOURCE

Summer, Sunshine, and Mental Health

Nicole Marino, AMFT

As the days grow longer and the sun shines brighter, there’s a common expectation that we should feel lighter, happier, and more energized. Summer is often portrayed as a time of freedom, fun, and emotional ease—beaches, barbecues, and carefree vacations. For some, that’s exactly how it feels, but as a marriage and family therapist, I often meet clients who are surprised and even frustrated to find themselves struggling during the new season. This feeling can be isolating. The cultural narrative around summer and happiness can make it hard to talk about the ways mental health challenges continue during this time. I want to offer a reminder that sunshine doesn’t fix everything, and that’s okay!

The warm weather doesn’t erase grief, anxiety, or depression. In fact, for some people, the contrast between their internal world and the brightness outside can heighten feelings of loneliness or disconnection. When it seems like everyone else is “living their best life,” it’s easy to believe something is wrong with you for not feeling the same way.

This is particularly true for individuals navigating family conflict, relationship issues, or major life transitions. Summer doesn’t pause those realities. School breaks can disrupt routines that provide structure and predictability as well as increase financial stress due to the pressure to plan vacations, camps, or extra activities for kids.

While many are familiar with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in the winter, there is a lesser-known summer comparison. Some individuals experience heightened irritability, insomnia, agitation, or anxiety in response to heat and disrupted sleep patterns. For others, body image concerns may worsen with the increase in social outings, beach days, or warm-weather clothing. These seasonal stressors can take a toll, especially for those already managing chronic mental health conditions.

Here are a few things I often suggest to clients during the summer months:

1. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Alter your expectations for yourself and for the summer season. Your emotions are valid, even when they don’t match the season. Be compassionate with yourself and meet yourself where you’re at, no matter the season.

2. Maintain supportive routines. For those in school, when school is out and vacations begin, it’s easy for structure to vanish. Try to keep regular sleep, meals, and movement in your day to help stabilize your mood. Even when working a full-time job, the importance of maintaining a routine is present.

3. Practice gentle boundaries. If certain gatherings or expectations feel overwhelming, it’s okay to say no or set limits. Emotional self-care is so important.

4. Seek connection. Focus on meaningful interactions over idealized summer plans. A quiet at home dinner with a trusted friend can be more restorative than a packed social calendar.

5. Talk to someone. Therapy isn’t just for the “dark” times. It can also be a space to explore complex feelings that arise when things “should” feel good, but don’t. (And it is okay that they don’t! But seeking therapy can be a great outlet to process your experience).

Mental health doesn’t take the summer off. Sunshine can lift your spirits and mood—but it can’t repair old wounds, fix relational problems, or quiet intense anxiety. And it doesn’t have to. This summer, I encourage you to look beyond the surface and make room for authenticity, compassion, and care—especially for yourself. Healing doesn’t always look like a highlight reel. Sometimes it’s slow, subtle, and very much still happening in the midst of summer fun.

The Key to Increased Health and Happiness

By Olivia Grossklaus, amft

In today’s fast-paced, increasingly digital world, it’s easy to feel isolated, despite being constantly “connected”. We live in a time where the presence of community is more important than ever, yet more challenging to find. A study conducted at Harvard University with more than 700 participants found the main predictor of long-term health and happiness was the quality of the relationships a person had. Read more about the Harvard study here.

Humans are inherently social beings; we need connection to survive. It’s these connections that shape our identities and help us navigate the world. When we feel supported, understood, and valued by others, we are more likely to experience higher levels of happiness and satisfaction.

In times of difficulty, emotional distress, or personal struggles, having a solid support system can make all the difference. Whether it’s family, friends, a therapist, or even a group of strangers united by a common cause, support networks offer validation, comfort, and empathy. Social interactions help buffer stress, reduce feelings of loneliness, and promote resilience. Communities provide a sense of belonging and a framework of connection that nurtures both the individual and the group.

Community is all around us. In our homes, schools, work, places of worship, gyms, libraries. There is so much bravery and vulnerability in asking for help and support; it can be a uniquely healing experience when you learn you are not alone in your struggles. In tough times, emotional support can provide a safe space for continued vulnerability, helping you to open up and process difficult emotions. Just knowing someone is listening can provide immense relief.

Additionally, emotional support is reciprocal. By vulnerably asking your community what you need, you normalize this behavior for others, creating a cycle of care that fosters mutual respect and trust, strengthening the bonds of your community.

When we help one another, we create a more compassionate, cooperative world. Acts of kindness, big or small, have the potential to ripple outward, influencing our wider circles and even society as a whole. Strong communities build stronger societies, and this collective strength is key to tackling global issues, from climate change to mental health crises.

Ultimately, the importance of community cannot be overstated. It’s the foundation upon which we can build resilience, personal growth, and a sense of purpose. Whether you're going through a tough time or enjoying success, having a supportive community means you don’t have to go it alone. By leaning on others and offering support in return, we utilize the increased connection of our world to better our long-term health and happiness.

A Family Therapist’s Perspective on Political Stress in Families

By Caroline neal, lmft

In recent years, political discussions have become more emotionally charged, sometimes creating tension between parents and children, siblings, and extended family members. What was once a casual conversation can now lead to strong emotions, misunderstandings, and even avoidance. Political stress within families is not just about differing opinions; it is deeply connected to identity, values, and personal experiences, which makes these conversations especially meaningful and sometimes difficult.

At the heart of political tension is the emotional investment people have in their beliefs. Political views often reflect values such as fairness, security, and freedom, shaped by personal experiences. When a family member expresses an opposing view, it can sometimes feel like a challenge to these values. This can be particularly sensitive when political beliefs are influenced by real-life struggles, such as economic hardship or social injustices. Instead of seeing disagreements as mere differences in opinion, family members may perceive them as questioning their lived experiences or personal convictions.

Generational differences also contribute to political stress in families. Older and younger family members often interpret political and social issues through different lenses, shaped by the times they grew up in. Parents or grandparents may see the world through historical events that shaped their perspectives, while younger generations bring their own evolving views influenced by modern social movements and digital media. This can lead to frustration on both sides—older family members may feel like their perspectives are being dismissed, while younger ones may feel misunderstood or unheard.

Media and social platforms also play a role in deepening political divisions. With the rise of social media and partisan news sources, people often find themselves in information bubbles that reinforce their beliefs, making opposing viewpoints seem not just different, but difficult to understand. As a result, political discussions can feel more like debates than opportunities for meaningful dialogue, making it harder for family members to connect on these topics.

Families respond to political stress in different ways. Some engage in open discussions, but these can sometimes escalate into ongoing tension. Others choose to avoid political topics altogether, which may create emotional distance over time. In some cases, families struggle to find a balance, leading to feelings of frustration or sadness when meaningful relationships feel strained by political differences.

Despite these challenges, families can find ways to navigate political stress with care and respect. One of the most helpful approaches is recognizing that political conversations are not just about facts and policies but also about emotions and values. Approaching discussions with empathy—rather than trying to convince or “win” an argument—can help ease tension and foster mutual understanding. Active listening, where family members focus on understanding each other’s perspectives rather than reacting immediately, can create a space for more thoughtful and respectful conversations.

Setting gentle boundaries can also be beneficial. Some families find it helpful to limit political discussions during gatherings meant for connection and joy. Others agree on respectful ways to engage in these conversations, ensuring that differing opinions do not overshadow the love and respect they have for one another.

Most importantly, families don’t have to agree on everything to maintain strong relationships. Love, shared history, and mutual care transcend political differences. Focusing on what unites rather than what divides can help preserve family bonds, even in times of disagreement. With patience, kindness, and a willingness to listen, even difficult conversations can lead to greater understanding and connection.

Valentine’s Day: A Reminder to Embrace Love

By Bree minger, amft

Valentine’s Day— some consider it a cheesy “Hallmark” holiday, while others cherish the opportunity to romance their significant other. Regardless, as adults it is often viewed as a day for lovers. Sure, “Galentine’s Day” is relevant and on the rise as a fun way for girlfriends to celebrate each other. However, many people view Valentine’s Day as a holiday they cannot participate in if they do not have a special someone. 

What if Valentine’s Day was different? What if Valentine’s Day was the ”day of love” for everyone?

A deep rooted need for all of us is the desire to be loved. Whether by a spouse, partner, friend, neighbor, teacher, the list goes on— a part of us wants to know we are loved and seen. Ultimately, we can show ourselves love too. Loving others and ourselves, is essential and seems easy. In reality it is not. Schedules get busy, things get forgotten and it becomes tiring to be intentional with others, let alone yourself. 

This Valentine’s Day consider how you may show love, either to yourself or others in a way that seems manageable. 

Showing love to others: 

• Check in on an elderly neighbor 

• Bring a meal to a family 

• Write an encouraging note to your coworker 

• Pay it forward at a coffee shop for the next stranger in line 

• Volunteer at a shelter 

• Call a family member you haven’t heard from in a while

Showing love to yourself: 

• Make time to move your body 

• Step outside into the sunshine for 10 minutes 

• Journal about what you are grateful for this year so far

• Write positive affirmations and stick them on your bathroom mirror

• Cook a new healthy recipe you’ve been wanting to try 

• Practice deep breathing 

There are so many more ways to love others and yourself. With whatever comes to mind for you, embrace the opportunity to spread love and kindness.  

The Benefits of Getting Outside During the Workday

By Nicole Marino, AMFT

In today’s fast-paced, screen-driven world, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of sitting at a desk, eyes glued to a monitor, and feeling disconnected from the world around you. Whether you work from home, in an office, or at a co-working space, taking time to step outside during your workday can have a powerful effect on both your productivity and well-being.

 Getting outside throughout the day boosts mental clarity and focus. Taking a break outside—even for just 10 minutes—helps clear the mental clutter. Exposure to natural light helps regulate your circadian rhythm and can improve your focus and alertness. A quick walk around the block or even standing in a sunny spot can reset your mind, making it easier to move onto further work tasks. It also reduces stress and increases productivity. Spending time in nature can lower cortisol levels and help you feel calmer overall. It can help energy levels, reduce the risk of burnout, improve creativity and problem-solving, improve physical health, and promote better sleep. As stated, getting outside has so many amazing health benefits even for a few minutes here and there.

How to Get Outside During Your Workday

It might seem challenging to leave your desk throughout a busy workday, but there are many options that can accommodate your schedule ensuring you are still getting what you need to get done.

1. Schedule Outdoor Breaks

Treat your outdoor time like any other meeting or appointment. Put it on your calendar so you don’t forget! Whether it’s a 10-minute walk after lunch or a 5-minute stretch outside before your next call, having it on your schedule makes it more likely to happen.

2. Walk and Talk

If you have a phone call or video conference that doesn’t require a screen, consider walking while you chat. This helps you get your steps in and is a great way to combine productivity and physical activity.

3. Take Your Lunch Break Outside

Instead of eating at your desk, step outside for your lunch. Finding a nice area to sit and take a break from being inside, can help give you balance throughout the day.

4. Create an Outdoor Workspace (When Possible)

If you’re lucky enough to have a backyard or balcony, consider taking your laptop outside for a change of scenery. Of course, this only works if your work environment is conducive to being outside and if you more than likely work from home, but if that meets your work description then this is a great option!

5. Take Small Breaks in Nature

You don’t have to spend hours outdoors to reap the benefits. A few minutes here and there—whether it’s stepping outside for a quick breath of fresh air or taking a short walk during a break—can add up over time.

6. Join or Start a Walking Group

If you work in an office and are looking for a way to encourage outdoor breaks, consider starting or joining a walking group. Set up a regular time to walk with colleagues—whether it’s during lunch, after work, or in the morning—and turn it into a social activity. This can also be a great way to bond with coworkers while getting your daily steps in.

How to Support Your Pregnant Partner: A Couples Therapist’s Perspective

By Anne decore lmft

Pregnancy is a transformative journey, not just for the expecting parent but also for their partner. The physical, emotional, and mental changes that occur during this time can create new challenges and opportunities for couples to connect. As a couple’s therapist, I often see how intentional acts of support from the non-pregnant partner can strengthen the bond between partners and create a more positive pregnancy experience. Viewing the pregnancy as a shared effort, even though one person is technically growing the baby, is a simple but powerful reframe that serves to unite couples in the transition to parenthood.

Communication, as always, is key. Your pregnant partner is experiencing a whirlwind of hormonal changes, physical discomfort, and sometimes anxiety about the future. Open and honest conversations about how they’re feeling and what they need can make a world of difference. Don’t wait for your partner to ask for help—proactively check in with them, ask how you can assist, and listen attentively without jumping to fix things unless they ask. Small acts of acknowledgment, like thanking them for what their body is going through or affirming their strength, can make them feel seen and appreciated.

Additionally, take practical steps to lighten their load. Pregnancy often comes with fatigue, nausea, or other physical discomforts that make everyday tasks more challenging. Offer to take on more household chores, run errands, or prepare meals. Accompany them to medical appointments to show your involvement and support. Learning about pregnancy, labor, and postpartum care together can also build a sense of teamwork. Perhaps most importantly, make space for emotional connection. A kind word, a gentle touch, or just being present during moments of vulnerability can reinforce that you are in this together. Pregnancy is a shared journey, and when you show up as a compassionate and engaged partner, you lay the foundation for a stronger relationship and a thriving family.

From Stress To Success: Navigating Finances As A Couple

Money can be a sensitive topic for many couples, and it’s no surprise why. Our financial habits, values, and goals are deeply personal, often shaped by unique life experiences. Yet, when two people come together to build a life, their financial worlds must also align. Unfortunately, the conversations required to merge these worlds can be fraught with tension, misunderstandings, and even conflict.

As the holiday season wraps up, many couples may find themselves facing the financial aftermath of gift-giving, travel expenses, and festive celebrations. These additional pressures can highlight existing money-related challenges or create new ones. It’s not uncommon to feel stuck or overwhelmed by financial discussions during this time, especially when budgets are tight, or spending has exceeded expectations. But avoiding these conversations can lead to resentment, mistrust, and even larger problems down the road.

The good news? With empathy, teamwork, and the right tools, financial discussions can become a source of connection rather than division. In this guide, we’ll explore practical and compassionate ways to navigate financial discussions as a couple, helping you build trust, achieve shared goals, and strengthen your relationship. Remember, it’s not just about the numbers—it’s about understanding each other and creating a future you both feel excited about.

Address the Financial Stress of the Holidays

The holiday season can amplify financial strain, with gift-giving, travel expenses, and social events adding up quickly. To navigate this together, set a clear holiday budget that includes gifts, travel, and entertainment. Consider alternatives like homemade gifts or experiences rather than material items. Openly discuss priorities for the season, and remember that shared moments often mean more than extravagant purchases. Approaching the holidays as a team can help reduce stress and keep your relationship strong.

Create a Judgment-Free Zone

Financial discussions can feel vulnerable, especially if one partner is dealing with debt or has different spending habits. Establish a safe space where both of you can share openly without fear of judgment. Set the tone by focusing on teamwork rather than blame. For example, instead of saying, “You’re always overspending,” try, “How can we work together to stick to our budget?”

Set a Regular Money Date

Rather than addressing financial matters only during crises, schedule regular “money dates” to review your finances. These can be monthly check-ins to discuss your budget, savings, and goals. Make it a routine, and even add some fun elements—like ordering your favorite takeout or celebrating small financial wins—to keep it positive and engaging.

Understand Each Other’s Money Mindset

Each person’s relationship with money is shaped by their upbringing, experiences, and values. Take time to understand your partner’s financial mindset. Are they a saver or a spender? Do they feel anxious about debt? Understanding these perspectives can help you approach discussions with empathy and find common ground.

Be Transparent About Your Financial Situation

Honesty is essential in any relationship, especially when it comes to finances. Share your full financial picture, including income, debts, credit scores, and savings. Transparency builds trust and allows you to create a realistic financial plan together. If this feels overwhelming, start small and gradually share more details over time.

Set Shared Goals

One of the most effective ways to align financially is by setting shared goals. Whether it’s saving for a vacation, buying a home, or planning for retirement, having common objectives can transform financial discussions from stressful to inspiring. Break these goals into manageable steps and track your progress together.

Create a Joint Budget—With Flexibility

A well-thought-out budget is a powerful tool for financial harmony. Start by listing your combined income and expenses, then allocate funds for essentials, savings, and discretionary spending. Remember to leave room for individual flexibility; this ensures that both partners have some autonomy while sticking to the plan.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If financial discussions consistently lead to conflict, consider seeking help from a financial advisor or couples therapist. Couples therapy, in particular, can help uncover underlying emotional triggers tied to money, improve communication, and strengthen your partnership. A therapist can guide you in developing healthier financial habits while addressing any lingering issues that might be impacting your relationship. Financial coaches can also help create a roadmap tailored to your unique situation.

Celebrate Milestones Together

Financial progress can feel slow, so it’s important to celebrate achievements along the way. Whether you’ve paid off a credit card, reached a savings goal, or stuck to your budget for six months, take time to acknowledge your hard work as a team. Celebrations reinforce positive behaviors and keep you motivated.

Overcoming financial discussions as a couple requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to collaborate. By fostering open communication, setting shared goals, and supporting each other through challenges, you can turn financial talks into opportunities to grow closer. Remember, it’s not about perfection but progress—and the journey is always better when you’re in it together. Every step you take toward financial harmony strengthens the trust and connection you share as a couple. Whether it’s tackling debt, planning for future dreams, or simply agreeing on a weekly budget, each discussion brings you closer to a partnership built on mutual respect and shared vision. Keep the focus on your shared values and aspirations, and let those guide your financial decisions. Together, you have the power to navigate any challenge and create a life that reflects both your hearts and your goals.

New Year, Same Me!

By Olivia Grossklaus, AMFT

While the idea of fresh starts and self-improvement is appealing as we move towards a new year, there’s often an underlying pressure to make resolutions that are big, bold, and transformative.

In the context of "New Year's resolution," a resolution refers to a commitment or decision made at the start of the new year to achieve a specific goal, improve a particular aspect of one's life, or adopt a new habit. However, the success of these resolutions can vary based on the clarity, feasibility, authenticity, and consistency of the goals set.

But why does creating resolutions at the New Year sometimes feel like such a daunting task?

Remaining Authentic

One of the biggest challenges of setting New Year's resolutions is the expectation of perfection. We often envision idealized versions of ourselves—someone who exercises every day, eats only healthy foods, reads a book a week, journals everyday etc. These goals are fantastic in theory, but they can quickly become overwhelming when we hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard that is likely misaligned with who we are authentically.

There’s also the tendency to compare ourselves to others. Social media can overwhelm us with success stories of people who have mastered the art of self-discipline or reinvented their lives “overnight”. This external pressure can make our own personal goals feel small, insignificant, or even unattainable. We feel like we "should" be doing more or achieving more, which only adds to the pressure and may cause us to veer further away from who we really are and what we really want.

Leave Room for Growth & Change

Setting resolutions is one thing; sticking to them over time may look entirely different. Life is unpredictable, and circumstances change. A goal that seemed achievable in the first few days of January can feel burdensome and irrelevant by February.

For many, this challenge is compounded by the fact that resolutions are often framed as all-or-nothing pursuits. If we slip up—whether it’s skipping a workout, missing a study session, or forgetting to journal a few days in a row —we feel like we’ve failed. This "black-and-white" thinking makes it harder to persevere when the going gets tough. The pressure to be perfect can lead to giving up entirely, rather than accepting that progress takes time and setbacks are normal. We as people grow and change over the course of the year, why can’t we allocate that same flexibility to our goals?

Wonderful Just The Way You Are

There’s an underlying cultural expectation that the New Year should be about self-improvement. Every year, we’re inundated with messages about becoming the "best version of yourself." This idea, while well-intentioned, often leads to feelings of inadequacy. It suggests that we’re not enough as we are and that we need to strive for constant improvement. This can leave us feeling like we’re perpetually "falling short" or never quite reaching our potential.

The focus on "better" also contributes to the fear of failure. If our resolution is about being more mindful, more successful, or more productive, it implies that the version of us before the New Year wasn’t good enough. The pressure to change, to be "better," can be exhausting and demotivating, especially if we don’t feel like we’ve made much progress.

Setting Mindful Resolutions

If the pressures of New Year’s resolutions feel overwhelming, it may help to reframe the way you approach them. Here are a few strategies to make resolutions feel less like a burden and more like an opportunity for growth:

1. Set Small, Manageable Goals: Break your resolutions into smaller, actionable steps. Focus on progress, not perfection. Small wins can add up over time, and they’re much more sustainable than trying to overhaul your entire life in one go.

2. Be Flexible: Life is unpredictable, and things won’t always go according to plan. If you miss a workout or a deadline, don’t throw your resolution out the window. Accept that setbacks are part of the journey, and adjust your goals as needed.

3. Focus on Well-Being: Instead of focusing solely on external markers of success—like getting promoted or writing a book—consider resolutions that support your mental and emotional health. A resolution to practice self-compassion, prioritize rest, or spend more time with loved ones can be just as impactful as any professional goal.

4. Embrace Authenticity: Instead of trying to become a "better" version of yourself, try focusing on becoming a more authentic version of yourself. Embrace where you are right now, and aim for growth from a place of self-acceptance, not self-criticism. It may even help to reframe “resolutions” to New Years “Suggestions” or decide not to set any at all.

5. Give Yourself Time: Remember that resolutions don’t need to be completed by December 31st, and new resolutions can be set later in the year, not only in the first week of January. It’s okay if progress takes longer than expected. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and sometimes, the most meaningful changes happen gradually.

As we enter the new year, it’s easy to forget that we’re not starting with a blank slate. The demands of everyday life—work, family, social obligations—don’t pause just because the calendar flips. Trying to juggle new goals while keeping up with existing responsibilities can feel like a juggling act that’s bound to fall apart. By merely being kinder to ourselves we can navigate the new year with a sense of purpose, flexibility, authenticity, and self-compassion.

As you step into the new year, remember: it's okay not to have everything figured out. What's important is that you're moving forward, one small step at a time.

Reflecting After Therapy

By Jessy Weston, amft

Therapy is a space for exploration, healing, and personal growth. While the time spent in a session can be transformative, much of the real work happens in the days between appointments. Reflection is a powerful tool to maximize the benefits of therapy and can help you deepen your self-awareness and understanding.

If you’re wondering how to make the most of your time between sessions, consider these ways to reflect and observe your experiences.

After Your Session: Pausing to Process

Take some time after your session to sit with what came up. What moments from the session stood out the most? Perhaps it was a moment of clarity, a difficult emotion, or even something that left you with more questions than answers.

Notice how you’re feeling, both emotionally and physically. Are you leaving the session feeling lighter, hopeful, or energized? Or are you feeling unsettled, exhausted, or reflective? There’s no right or wrong way to feel, but identifying your emotions and bodily sensations can help you connect more fully with your experience.

You might also reflect on whether you had any “aha” moments. Did something your therapist said click into place? Did you notice a new way of looking at a familiar pattern? These small epiphanies are worth holding onto as they can often guide you in your journey forward.

Observing Your Week Between Sessions

Therapy doesn’t stop when the session ends. The week between sessions is an opportunity to notice how the work you’re doing in therapy shows up in your daily life. As you move through your week, notice how you’re applying insights from therapy. Maybe you’re trying out a new coping strategy or challenging a negative thought pattern. Reflect on how these actions feel—are they helpful, awkward, or even challenging? It’s okay if things don’t click immediately; progress often happens in small steps. Or maybe you’re noticing moments when you feel particularly activated or calm. You can ask yourself what triggered these feelings as understanding these shifts can help you see connections between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Preparing for Your Next Session

Reflection also sets the stage for a more focused and productive therapy session. As your next session approaches, think about what you want to bring into the conversation. Is there something from the previous session that you’d like to revisit or clarify?

You might also reflect on what you’d like to prioritize going forward. Are there specific goals or themes that feel especially important right now? Therapy is a collaborative process, and your reflections can help shape its path.

Harnessing the Power of Awe

By Anne Decore, lmft

I recently attended a psychology conference in California where I had the opportunity to learn about the science of awe from Jonah Paquette, a clinical psychologist and author of the book “Awestruck: How Embracing Wonder Can Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Connected.”

So, what is awe and why is it important in our lives?

According to Paquette we can define it as “the feeling we get in the presence of something vast that challenges our understanding of the world.”

Vastness (perceptual or conceptual) and transcendence (assumption-challenging) are the two key components of awe. Awe is a universal human emotion found across all cultures, though there are individual differences in frequency of experiencing awe, and in sources of awe.

I invite you to try this quick mental exercise:

Think about a particularly awe-inspiring memory that you can recall.

Where were you?

Who were you with?

What was the experience like? How did your body feel?

How did you feel toward others?

What perspectives did you have?

You may have noticed from your personal recollection how awe served as a pathway into connection, compassion, curiosity, gratitude, optimism. In other words, awe increases important positive mood states. Studies show that awe activates areas in the brain linked to interpersonal bonding and the release of oxytocin. And, it reliably leads to a feeling of smallness relative to the world around us, a phenomenon known as “the small self”, where we feel linked to something greater than ourselves, increasing our sense of meaning.

In other words, awe induction is really good for us. How can you experience more awe-inspired moments? Look for it in the everyday. As Dr.Paquette puts it, “how many things in your field of vision are actually wondrous, but that we overlook every day?”

Here are some places likely to yield results:

Nature, science, timelessness & vastness, courage & inspiration, the arts, gratitude, social connection, new learnings.

While I was in California for the conference, I got to see fireworks light up the night sky beside a dear longtime friend of mine. The only thing better than awe is sharing it with others.

Falling Into Wellness: Navigating Mental Health This Autumn

By Olivia grossklaus, AMFT

As the leaves change and the air turns chilly, fall brings a blend of beauty and challenges. While many welcome the change of season from hot summer days to cozy autumn mornings, the shift in seasons can also have a profound impact on all of our mental well-being. Understanding these dynamics and embracing healthy habits can help all us navigate this transitional period with resilience and joy. Here’s how to prioritize your mental well-being this fall.

Embrace the Change, Both Inside and Out

Fall represents a transition, in weather and in life. Embrace this change as an opportunity for growth. Reflect on what this season means for you and how you can set new intentions. This could involve starting a new hobby, focusing on personal goals, or simply adopting a more mindful approach to your daily routine.

Despite the cooler temperatures, spending time outdoors can significantly boost your mood. The beautiful fall foliage and crisp air provide a refreshing backdrop for walks, hikes, or picnics. Nature has a calming effect, and exposure to natural light can help combat feelings of sadness. Aim for at least 20-30 minutes outside each day to reap the mental health benefits.

Acknowledge Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

For some, the onset of fall marks the beginning of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of depression that occurs at specific times of the year. The reduced sunlight can lead to feelings of sadness, lethargy, and isolation. If you notice these symptoms, know you’re not alone. It’s crucial to seek support, whether through therapy, support groups, or connecting with loved ones who may understand your experiences, or are just there to listen.

Maintain a Routine

As summer fades, many people experience disruptions in their schedules. Establishing a consistent daily routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability. Include time for self-care, work, social activities, and relaxation. A well-structured routine helps to manage stress and keeps you grounded during seasonal transitions.

Stay Connected

As the days get shorter, it’s easy to retreat into solitude. However, staying connected with friends and loved ones is essential for mental health. Schedule regular catch-ups, whether in person or virtually, and engage in group activities. Sharing experiences and feelings with others can provide comfort and support, making the transition into fall much easier. It is also important to stay connected with yourself and your needs during this transition. Journaling or scheduling in some quiet time throughout the day is a great way to do this.

Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

The fall season invites us to slow down and reflect. Incorporate mindfulness practices into your routine, such as meditation, journaling, body scans, or yoga. These activities can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety. Additionally, cultivate gratitude by taking time each day to acknowledge the things you appreciate, from the beauty of the changing leaves to the warmth of your favorite sweater.

Prepare for Winter

As fall progresses, it’s wise to prepare for the winter months ahead. Consider strategies to boost your mood during the darker days, such as investing in a light therapy box, planning winter activities, or scheduling regular check-ins with a therapist. Having a plan in place can provide reassurance and help you feel more in control.

While the fall season can present challenges to mental health, it also offers a chance for renewal and reflection. By acknowledging your feelings, prioritizing self-care, and staying connected with others and yourself, you can navigate this transition with grace. Embrace the beauty of the season, and remember that it is always okay to seek help if and when you need it.