Nurturing Family Bonds During Work Travel

By Caroline neal, lmft

In today’s fast-paced world, travel has become part of the job description for many professionals. Whether it's a weekly commute to another city, a long stretch overseas for a project, or irregular last-minute flights for client meetings, being away from home is often the norm.

But while work travel supports financial goals, career growth, and sometimes even a sense of purpose, it also places real emotional pressure on families. The parent who travels often carries a quiet burden: guilt for missed milestones, longing for connection, and the tension of balancing ambition with presence. Meanwhile, the parent or caregiver at home may feel overstretched, unseen, or emotionally disconnected. Children may struggle with feelings they don’t yet have the language for: missing their parent deeply one moment, pulling away the next.

For the couples who say, “We’re just passing ships,” and with children who wonder quietly, “Why does work always come first?” These aren’t signs of brokenness — they’re signals that the emotional infrastructure of the family needs tending. And while physical presence is important, emotional connection doesn’t have to stop at the airport gate.

The good news is that there are simple, meaningful ways to stay close, even from a distance. With intention, communication, and a shift from routine to ritual, families can remain emotionally connected. Here’s a few strategies for navigating the challenges of work- related travel and keeping your family strong: 

1. Create Rituals of Connection, Not Just Communication

It’s not about how often you talk — it’s how meaningful those interactions feel.

A quick “How was your day?” over FaceTime can feel routine. But a shared ritual — like reading the same bedtime story, sending a voice note every morning, or sharing “one good thing” at the end of each day — builds emotional glue.

💡 Therapist Tip: Rituals give predictability and emotional grounding — especially helpful for children and anxious partners.

2. Validate All the Feelings — Including Your Own

Children and partners may feel sad, distant, or even resentful. These are not signs of failure — they’re signs that connection matters.

Say: “I know it’s hard when I’m gone — I miss you too. I can’t wait to hear about your week.”

This opens the door for honesty instead of guilt.

💡 Therapist Tip: Kids, especially, benefit from hearing that their emotions are okay. Suppressing them to protect the working parent only creates distance later.

3. Make the Time You Do Have Count

When you're back home, try to be fully present. That doesn’t mean grand gestures — it means eye contact, real conversations, unrushed moments. Connection happens in the micro-moments, not just the big reunions.

💡 Therapist Tip: Phones down during dinner or a “10-minute check-in” at night can make a big difference.

4. Don’t Forget the Partner Holding Down the Fort

It’s easy for resentment to build in the partner who’s home managing school pickups, meals, or emotional meltdowns alone. Validate their experience. A simple “Thank you for everything you're doing while I’m gone” can prevent relational cracks from forming.

💡 Therapist Tip: Invisible labor breeds disconnection. Make appreciation visible.

5. Let Kids Participate in Your World

Share photos of where you’re staying, funny stories from the airport, or something you learned in a meeting. It helps kids understand where you are, and turns distance into storytelling — not mystery.

💡 Therapist Tip: This also helps younger children form mental maps, reducing anxiety.

6. Consider Family Therapy or Coaching When Needed

If travel is straining your relationship or your child is showing signs of stress (changes in sleep, behavior, or mood), a few sessions with a therapist can help the whole family build new coping tools and connection strategies.

The reality of work travel is often more layered than it looks from the outside. It’s not just a series of hotel check-ins and boarding passes, it’s the weight of missing bedtime routines, navigating long-distance tension with a partner, or hearing about milestones secondhand. For those at home, it can feel like you’re managing life in fragments, holding down the emotional center of a family while silently carrying loneliness or fatigue.

Be gentle with yourself. There will be missed calls, tired check-ins, and moments when you feel spread too thin. That doesn’t make you a bad parent or partner — it makes you human. What matters most is not that you always get it right, but that you keep choosing to show up — in texts, in video calls, in five-minute conversations that say “I see you. I care. I’m still here, even from far away.”

Emotional connection isn’t about geography, it is about presence. With intention, empathy, and communication, your family can weather the distance and grow stronger through it.

Supporting Kids with Anxiety during Summer Break

By Jessy Weston, lmft

For many families, summer is something to look forward to – a break from school routines, time

for play, travel, and relaxation. But for kids who struggle with anxiety, summer can bring a

whole new set of stressors. The sudden shift in structure, increased social expectations, and

sensory overload of summer activities can feel overwhelming.

The good news? With some thoughtful planning, it’s absolutely possible to create a summer that

feels calm, connected, and supportive. Here are a few simple strategies to help your child feel

grounded and safe during the summer months.

1. Understand What Triggers Their Anxiety in Summer

Every child is different, but some common summer-related anxiety triggers include:

• Lack of structure or routine

• Social demands like day camps, parties, or family events

• Fear of missing out or comparison to peers

• Changes in sleep, screen time, or diet

• Sensory overload from travel, heat, or noisy environments

Pay attention to when your child seems more anxious – tracking patterns can help you anticipate

challenges and plan support accordingly.

2. Create a Gentle Routine

Kids thrive on predictability, and even a flexible routine can help them feel safe. While it doesn’t

have to match the rigidity of the school year, having a general rhythm to the day can ease a lot of

underlying anxiety.

Consider setting:

• Consistent wake-up and bedtime routines

• Regular mealtimes

• Built-in quiet time or downtime

• A visual schedule or calendar for daily activities

Involve your child in creating the routine. Having a sense of control can be empowering and

reduce anxious resistance.

3. Prepare for Transitions and Travel

New places and changing routines can be particularly tough for kids with anxiety. Whether

you’re planning a vacation or starting summer camp, help them prepare in advance.

Some helpful strategies:

•  Preview what to expect with photos, videos, or social stories

• Walk through the schedule together before the event

• Pack comfort items like favorite snacks, toys, or headphones

• Offer choices when possible to give a sense of control

The more your child knows what to expect, the safer they’ll feel.

4. Focus on Connection

What matters most is connection – your child feeling seen, heard, and supported.

Let them know:

• It’s okay to feel nervous or overwhelmed

• They can talk to you about their feelings, without judgment

• You’re in this together, and they’re not alone

A daily moment of genuine connection, whether during breakfast, bedtime, or a walk around the block, can have a lasting impact on a child’s sense of emotional safety.

The Benefits of Mindfulness and Movement

By Bree Nussbaum, AMFT

Our body operates on its own every day to keep our heart pumping, our blood flowing and our lungs breathing. Since the body is so autonomous in its care for us, many of us forget to return the favor and take care of our bodies. We live cut off from our bodies, not paying attention to what information our bodies share with us or what our bodies might need from us. Fostering a deeper connection with our bodies through mindfulness and movement allows us to improve emotional, mental, physical health simultaneously. 

Exploring Mindfulness 

Did you know our central nervous system can inform our body of our emotions faster than our brains can recognize these shifts in emotion? As you begin to attune yourself to your body you may notice different sensations that can give you a heads up to how you‘re feeling. Have you ever heard the expression of a hot head who is angry? Or the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach? We use these sayings casually in conversation because we can relate to our bodies responding to situations in these ways. However, these somatic symptoms are real responses to anger and anxiety. Sometimes we notice these symptoms after it is too late and our behaviors reflect our body’s dysregulated state, e.g., lashing out in anger at a family member. By paying attention to our bodies we can slow down our nervous systems and remind our bodies we are relaxed and safe therefore making a difference in our behaviors. 

Practicing mindfulness and paying attention to your body can happen in different ways:

• In the moment. Notice in your body where you are feeling any emotion: joy, sadness, anger, fear, etc. Often, the same emotion tends to show up in the same area of our individual body. 

• Intentional practice. Set aside time to engage in physical mindfulness. Whether a body scan, progressive muscle relaxation, an informal mindful walk or mindful eating, slow your body down and pay attention to what you are doing and how your body is reacting. 

Exploring Movement 

Most people understand movement and physical activity is important for the physical body. As discussed above, our brains and bodies are so connected that there are many psychological and emotional benefits to regular movement. According to the Association of Applied Sports Psychology (AASP) regular physical activity can improve mood, reduce stress and improve ability to cope with stress, improve self esteem, increase energy and confidence and decrease symptoms of depression. So, how much exercise is needed to achieve these benefits? The AASP recommends for short term benefits just 10 minutes of low intensity aerobic exercise can show benefits. For long term benefits, the AASP says 30 minutes of exercise, 3 days a week should do the trick. Remember, exercise accumulates. So, three 10 minute walks a day are equivalent to an uninterrupted 30 minute walk.  

Reminders for movement: 

• Enjoy what you do. If you love a certain type of exercise, you are more likely to do it regularly. Explore different options. Some people are runners; however, that is not the only way to exercise. Find a dance class, walk with friends or go to YouTube to find a workout that works for you. 

• Yoga is an ancient exercise that combines certain postures with breath to incorporate mindfulness into exercise. There are many different types of yoga, find the right fit for you! 

• Notice pain, tension or differences in your body during exercise. Often, we do not pay attention to our bodies during exercise and instead put all of our focus on getting through the workout. Remember to engage all senses and care for your body especially while moving it!

Overall our bodies are beautiful and amazing vessels created to house our souls. So, let’s treat them that way through mindfulness and movement. Discuss the right options for you with your therapist or primary care provider before engaging in new mindfulness or physical activities.

RESOURCE

Summer, Sunshine, and Mental Health

Nicole Marino, AMFT

As the days grow longer and the sun shines brighter, there’s a common expectation that we should feel lighter, happier, and more energized. Summer is often portrayed as a time of freedom, fun, and emotional ease—beaches, barbecues, and carefree vacations. For some, that’s exactly how it feels, but as a marriage and family therapist, I often meet clients who are surprised and even frustrated to find themselves struggling during the new season. This feeling can be isolating. The cultural narrative around summer and happiness can make it hard to talk about the ways mental health challenges continue during this time. I want to offer a reminder that sunshine doesn’t fix everything, and that’s okay!

The warm weather doesn’t erase grief, anxiety, or depression. In fact, for some people, the contrast between their internal world and the brightness outside can heighten feelings of loneliness or disconnection. When it seems like everyone else is “living their best life,” it’s easy to believe something is wrong with you for not feeling the same way.

This is particularly true for individuals navigating family conflict, relationship issues, or major life transitions. Summer doesn’t pause those realities. School breaks can disrupt routines that provide structure and predictability as well as increase financial stress due to the pressure to plan vacations, camps, or extra activities for kids.

While many are familiar with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) in the winter, there is a lesser-known summer comparison. Some individuals experience heightened irritability, insomnia, agitation, or anxiety in response to heat and disrupted sleep patterns. For others, body image concerns may worsen with the increase in social outings, beach days, or warm-weather clothing. These seasonal stressors can take a toll, especially for those already managing chronic mental health conditions.

Here are a few things I often suggest to clients during the summer months:

1. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Alter your expectations for yourself and for the summer season. Your emotions are valid, even when they don’t match the season. Be compassionate with yourself and meet yourself where you’re at, no matter the season.

2. Maintain supportive routines. For those in school, when school is out and vacations begin, it’s easy for structure to vanish. Try to keep regular sleep, meals, and movement in your day to help stabilize your mood. Even when working a full-time job, the importance of maintaining a routine is present.

3. Practice gentle boundaries. If certain gatherings or expectations feel overwhelming, it’s okay to say no or set limits. Emotional self-care is so important.

4. Seek connection. Focus on meaningful interactions over idealized summer plans. A quiet at home dinner with a trusted friend can be more restorative than a packed social calendar.

5. Talk to someone. Therapy isn’t just for the “dark” times. It can also be a space to explore complex feelings that arise when things “should” feel good, but don’t. (And it is okay that they don’t! But seeking therapy can be a great outlet to process your experience).

Mental health doesn’t take the summer off. Sunshine can lift your spirits and mood—but it can’t repair old wounds, fix relational problems, or quiet intense anxiety. And it doesn’t have to. This summer, I encourage you to look beyond the surface and make room for authenticity, compassion, and care—especially for yourself. Healing doesn’t always look like a highlight reel. Sometimes it’s slow, subtle, and very much still happening in the midst of summer fun.

The Key to Increased Health and Happiness

By Olivia Grossklaus, amft

In today’s fast-paced, increasingly digital world, it’s easy to feel isolated, despite being constantly “connected”. We live in a time where the presence of community is more important than ever, yet more challenging to find. A study conducted at Harvard University with more than 700 participants found the main predictor of long-term health and happiness was the quality of the relationships a person had. Read more about the Harvard study here.

Humans are inherently social beings; we need connection to survive. It’s these connections that shape our identities and help us navigate the world. When we feel supported, understood, and valued by others, we are more likely to experience higher levels of happiness and satisfaction.

In times of difficulty, emotional distress, or personal struggles, having a solid support system can make all the difference. Whether it’s family, friends, a therapist, or even a group of strangers united by a common cause, support networks offer validation, comfort, and empathy. Social interactions help buffer stress, reduce feelings of loneliness, and promote resilience. Communities provide a sense of belonging and a framework of connection that nurtures both the individual and the group.

Community is all around us. In our homes, schools, work, places of worship, gyms, libraries. There is so much bravery and vulnerability in asking for help and support; it can be a uniquely healing experience when you learn you are not alone in your struggles. In tough times, emotional support can provide a safe space for continued vulnerability, helping you to open up and process difficult emotions. Just knowing someone is listening can provide immense relief.

Additionally, emotional support is reciprocal. By vulnerably asking your community what you need, you normalize this behavior for others, creating a cycle of care that fosters mutual respect and trust, strengthening the bonds of your community.

When we help one another, we create a more compassionate, cooperative world. Acts of kindness, big or small, have the potential to ripple outward, influencing our wider circles and even society as a whole. Strong communities build stronger societies, and this collective strength is key to tackling global issues, from climate change to mental health crises.

Ultimately, the importance of community cannot be overstated. It’s the foundation upon which we can build resilience, personal growth, and a sense of purpose. Whether you're going through a tough time or enjoying success, having a supportive community means you don’t have to go it alone. By leaning on others and offering support in return, we utilize the increased connection of our world to better our long-term health and happiness.

Telehealth vs. In-Person Therapy: Which One Is Right for You?

By Anne Decore, lmft

As a therapist, I often have clients ask whether telehealth or in-person therapy is the better option for them. The truth is, both formats offer unique benefits and potential challenges, and the right choice depends on your personal needs, preferences, and lifestyle. While telehealth has become increasingly popular due to its accessibility, in-person therapy remains a preferred option for those who value face-to-face interaction in a structured setting. Understanding the key differences between these formats can help you make an informed decision about what works best for you.

Telehealth therapy- whether via video calls or phone sessions—offers flexibility and convenience. It eliminates the need for travel, making it easier for those with busy schedules, mobility limitations, or limited access to therapists in their area. Many clients also find that engaging in therapy from the comfort of their home can create a sense of ease and openness. However, telehealth does come with potential drawbacks. Technical issues, privacy concerns (especially if you live with others), and the absence of in-person presence can sometimes make it harder to feel fully connected to the therapist. Additionally, certain therapeutic techniques—such as somatic work or art therapy—may be less effective in a virtual setting.

In-person therapy- on the other hand, provides a dedicated and distraction-free space that fosters deep emotional engagement. Being physically present with a therapist allows for more nuanced communication, including body language and subtle cues that can enhance the therapeutic process. For some individuals, the structure of going to an office can also reinforce a sense of commitment to their mental health journey. However, in-person therapy requires more time for commuting, and may be less accessible for those with circumstances that make leaving home difficult.

When deciding between telehealth and in-person therapy- consider factors such as your comfort with technology, your need for flexibility, and how you best connect with others. This decision may also depend on the modality of therapy you’re seeking. For instance, couples therapy can be a unique scheduling challenge as it requires coordinating three people's schedules—both partners and the therapist. Many couples find that telehealth makes sessions more feasible, allowing them to meet from separate locations if needed or reducing the logistical barriers that might otherwise delay therapy. At the same time, some couples prefer in-person sessions for the sense of presence and connection it can provide, especially when working through difficult emotions.

If you're unsure which option is best for you, discussing your concerns with a therapist can help guide your decision. Ultimately, the most important factor is not the setting itself but the therapeutic relationship and your ability to engage meaningfully in the process.

A Family Therapist’s Perspective on Political Stress in Families

By Caroline neal, lmft

In recent years, political discussions have become more emotionally charged, sometimes creating tension between parents and children, siblings, and extended family members. What was once a casual conversation can now lead to strong emotions, misunderstandings, and even avoidance. Political stress within families is not just about differing opinions; it is deeply connected to identity, values, and personal experiences, which makes these conversations especially meaningful and sometimes difficult.

At the heart of political tension is the emotional investment people have in their beliefs. Political views often reflect values such as fairness, security, and freedom, shaped by personal experiences. When a family member expresses an opposing view, it can sometimes feel like a challenge to these values. This can be particularly sensitive when political beliefs are influenced by real-life struggles, such as economic hardship or social injustices. Instead of seeing disagreements as mere differences in opinion, family members may perceive them as questioning their lived experiences or personal convictions.

Generational differences also contribute to political stress in families. Older and younger family members often interpret political and social issues through different lenses, shaped by the times they grew up in. Parents or grandparents may see the world through historical events that shaped their perspectives, while younger generations bring their own evolving views influenced by modern social movements and digital media. This can lead to frustration on both sides—older family members may feel like their perspectives are being dismissed, while younger ones may feel misunderstood or unheard.

Media and social platforms also play a role in deepening political divisions. With the rise of social media and partisan news sources, people often find themselves in information bubbles that reinforce their beliefs, making opposing viewpoints seem not just different, but difficult to understand. As a result, political discussions can feel more like debates than opportunities for meaningful dialogue, making it harder for family members to connect on these topics.

Families respond to political stress in different ways. Some engage in open discussions, but these can sometimes escalate into ongoing tension. Others choose to avoid political topics altogether, which may create emotional distance over time. In some cases, families struggle to find a balance, leading to feelings of frustration or sadness when meaningful relationships feel strained by political differences.

Despite these challenges, families can find ways to navigate political stress with care and respect. One of the most helpful approaches is recognizing that political conversations are not just about facts and policies but also about emotions and values. Approaching discussions with empathy—rather than trying to convince or “win” an argument—can help ease tension and foster mutual understanding. Active listening, where family members focus on understanding each other’s perspectives rather than reacting immediately, can create a space for more thoughtful and respectful conversations.

Setting gentle boundaries can also be beneficial. Some families find it helpful to limit political discussions during gatherings meant for connection and joy. Others agree on respectful ways to engage in these conversations, ensuring that differing opinions do not overshadow the love and respect they have for one another.

Most importantly, families don’t have to agree on everything to maintain strong relationships. Love, shared history, and mutual care transcend political differences. Focusing on what unites rather than what divides can help preserve family bonds, even in times of disagreement. With patience, kindness, and a willingness to listen, even difficult conversations can lead to greater understanding and connection.

Empathy vs. Sympathy

By Jessy Weston, lmft

Have you ever opened up about a struggle, only to receive a response that made you feel more alone? Maybe you shared your exhaustion with a friend, and they replied, “At least you have a job!” Or perhaps you confided in someone about a tough time, and they quickly reassured you with, “Well, it could be worse.” These responses, while often well-intentioned, can leave us feeling unheard and disconnected. The reason? They come from sympathy, not empathy. Dr. Brené Brown’s powerful explanation of empathy vs. sympathy highlights a crucial distinction: empathy connects, while sympathy creates distance.

• Empathy is about stepping into someone’s emotional experience, truly feeling with them. It involves active listening, validating emotions, and sitting in the discomfort of another’s pain without trying to fix it.

• Sympathy is more detached. It often involves acknowledging someone’s struggle from a distance, sometimes with pity or an attempt to offer a silver lining rather than real emotional connection.

  In both personal and professional relationships, empathy builds trust and emotional safety. When we feel heard and understood, we are more likely to open up, heal, and form deeper connections. Sympathy, on the other hand, can feel dismissive—even when it’s not intended that way. It can create a sense of isolation, making the other person feel like their pain isn’t valid or that they should just “look on the bright side.”

How to Practice Empathy

1. Listen to Understand, Not to Respond – When someone shares their pain, resist the urge to jump in with advice or a “fix.” Just be present and listen.

2. Validate Their Feelings – Instead of saying, “At least it’s not worse,” try: “That sounds really difficult. I can see why you’re feeling this way.”

3. Connect with Their Emotion – Ask yourself, Have I ever felt something similar? You don’t need to have lived their exact experience, but connecting with a shared human emotion can help you respond with compassion.

4. Be Willing to Sit in Discomfort – Empathy requires emotional courage. Sometimes, just saying “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here with you” is the most powerful response.

As a therapist, I often see how meaningful it is when people feel truly understood. A small shift from sympathy to empathy can transform relationships—whether it’s between partners, parents and children, friends, or colleagues. Next time someone shares something difficult, pause. Take a breath. And instead of offering a silver lining, offer your presence. Empathy doesn’t require fixing—it requires feeling with someone. And that’s where real connection begins.

Valentine’s Day: A Reminder to Embrace Love

By Bree minger, amft

Valentine’s Day— some consider it a cheesy “Hallmark” holiday, while others cherish the opportunity to romance their significant other. Regardless, as adults it is often viewed as a day for lovers. Sure, “Galentine’s Day” is relevant and on the rise as a fun way for girlfriends to celebrate each other. However, many people view Valentine’s Day as a holiday they cannot participate in if they do not have a special someone. 

What if Valentine’s Day was different? What if Valentine’s Day was the ”day of love” for everyone?

A deep rooted need for all of us is the desire to be loved. Whether by a spouse, partner, friend, neighbor, teacher, the list goes on— a part of us wants to know we are loved and seen. Ultimately, we can show ourselves love too. Loving others and ourselves, is essential and seems easy. In reality it is not. Schedules get busy, things get forgotten and it becomes tiring to be intentional with others, let alone yourself. 

This Valentine’s Day consider how you may show love, either to yourself or others in a way that seems manageable. 

Showing love to others: 

• Check in on an elderly neighbor 

• Bring a meal to a family 

• Write an encouraging note to your coworker 

• Pay it forward at a coffee shop for the next stranger in line 

• Volunteer at a shelter 

• Call a family member you haven’t heard from in a while

Showing love to yourself: 

• Make time to move your body 

• Step outside into the sunshine for 10 minutes 

• Journal about what you are grateful for this year so far

• Write positive affirmations and stick them on your bathroom mirror

• Cook a new healthy recipe you’ve been wanting to try 

• Practice deep breathing 

There are so many more ways to love others and yourself. With whatever comes to mind for you, embrace the opportunity to spread love and kindness.  

The Benefits of Getting Outside During the Workday

By Nicole Marino, AMFT

In today’s fast-paced, screen-driven world, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of sitting at a desk, eyes glued to a monitor, and feeling disconnected from the world around you. Whether you work from home, in an office, or at a co-working space, taking time to step outside during your workday can have a powerful effect on both your productivity and well-being.

 Getting outside throughout the day boosts mental clarity and focus. Taking a break outside—even for just 10 minutes—helps clear the mental clutter. Exposure to natural light helps regulate your circadian rhythm and can improve your focus and alertness. A quick walk around the block or even standing in a sunny spot can reset your mind, making it easier to move onto further work tasks. It also reduces stress and increases productivity. Spending time in nature can lower cortisol levels and help you feel calmer overall. It can help energy levels, reduce the risk of burnout, improve creativity and problem-solving, improve physical health, and promote better sleep. As stated, getting outside has so many amazing health benefits even for a few minutes here and there.

How to Get Outside During Your Workday

It might seem challenging to leave your desk throughout a busy workday, but there are many options that can accommodate your schedule ensuring you are still getting what you need to get done.

1. Schedule Outdoor Breaks

Treat your outdoor time like any other meeting or appointment. Put it on your calendar so you don’t forget! Whether it’s a 10-minute walk after lunch or a 5-minute stretch outside before your next call, having it on your schedule makes it more likely to happen.

2. Walk and Talk

If you have a phone call or video conference that doesn’t require a screen, consider walking while you chat. This helps you get your steps in and is a great way to combine productivity and physical activity.

3. Take Your Lunch Break Outside

Instead of eating at your desk, step outside for your lunch. Finding a nice area to sit and take a break from being inside, can help give you balance throughout the day.

4. Create an Outdoor Workspace (When Possible)

If you’re lucky enough to have a backyard or balcony, consider taking your laptop outside for a change of scenery. Of course, this only works if your work environment is conducive to being outside and if you more than likely work from home, but if that meets your work description then this is a great option!

5. Take Small Breaks in Nature

You don’t have to spend hours outdoors to reap the benefits. A few minutes here and there—whether it’s stepping outside for a quick breath of fresh air or taking a short walk during a break—can add up over time.

6. Join or Start a Walking Group

If you work in an office and are looking for a way to encourage outdoor breaks, consider starting or joining a walking group. Set up a regular time to walk with colleagues—whether it’s during lunch, after work, or in the morning—and turn it into a social activity. This can also be a great way to bond with coworkers while getting your daily steps in.

How to Support Your Pregnant Partner: A Couples Therapist’s Perspective

By Anne decore lmft

Pregnancy is a transformative journey, not just for the expecting parent but also for their partner. The physical, emotional, and mental changes that occur during this time can create new challenges and opportunities for couples to connect. As a couple’s therapist, I often see how intentional acts of support from the non-pregnant partner can strengthen the bond between partners and create a more positive pregnancy experience. Viewing the pregnancy as a shared effort, even though one person is technically growing the baby, is a simple but powerful reframe that serves to unite couples in the transition to parenthood.

Communication, as always, is key. Your pregnant partner is experiencing a whirlwind of hormonal changes, physical discomfort, and sometimes anxiety about the future. Open and honest conversations about how they’re feeling and what they need can make a world of difference. Don’t wait for your partner to ask for help—proactively check in with them, ask how you can assist, and listen attentively without jumping to fix things unless they ask. Small acts of acknowledgment, like thanking them for what their body is going through or affirming their strength, can make them feel seen and appreciated.

Additionally, take practical steps to lighten their load. Pregnancy often comes with fatigue, nausea, or other physical discomforts that make everyday tasks more challenging. Offer to take on more household chores, run errands, or prepare meals. Accompany them to medical appointments to show your involvement and support. Learning about pregnancy, labor, and postpartum care together can also build a sense of teamwork. Perhaps most importantly, make space for emotional connection. A kind word, a gentle touch, or just being present during moments of vulnerability can reinforce that you are in this together. Pregnancy is a shared journey, and when you show up as a compassionate and engaged partner, you lay the foundation for a stronger relationship and a thriving family.

From Stress To Success: Navigating Finances As A Couple

Money can be a sensitive topic for many couples, and it’s no surprise why. Our financial habits, values, and goals are deeply personal, often shaped by unique life experiences. Yet, when two people come together to build a life, their financial worlds must also align. Unfortunately, the conversations required to merge these worlds can be fraught with tension, misunderstandings, and even conflict.

As the holiday season wraps up, many couples may find themselves facing the financial aftermath of gift-giving, travel expenses, and festive celebrations. These additional pressures can highlight existing money-related challenges or create new ones. It’s not uncommon to feel stuck or overwhelmed by financial discussions during this time, especially when budgets are tight, or spending has exceeded expectations. But avoiding these conversations can lead to resentment, mistrust, and even larger problems down the road.

The good news? With empathy, teamwork, and the right tools, financial discussions can become a source of connection rather than division. In this guide, we’ll explore practical and compassionate ways to navigate financial discussions as a couple, helping you build trust, achieve shared goals, and strengthen your relationship. Remember, it’s not just about the numbers—it’s about understanding each other and creating a future you both feel excited about.

Address the Financial Stress of the Holidays

The holiday season can amplify financial strain, with gift-giving, travel expenses, and social events adding up quickly. To navigate this together, set a clear holiday budget that includes gifts, travel, and entertainment. Consider alternatives like homemade gifts or experiences rather than material items. Openly discuss priorities for the season, and remember that shared moments often mean more than extravagant purchases. Approaching the holidays as a team can help reduce stress and keep your relationship strong.

Create a Judgment-Free Zone

Financial discussions can feel vulnerable, especially if one partner is dealing with debt or has different spending habits. Establish a safe space where both of you can share openly without fear of judgment. Set the tone by focusing on teamwork rather than blame. For example, instead of saying, “You’re always overspending,” try, “How can we work together to stick to our budget?”

Set a Regular Money Date

Rather than addressing financial matters only during crises, schedule regular “money dates” to review your finances. These can be monthly check-ins to discuss your budget, savings, and goals. Make it a routine, and even add some fun elements—like ordering your favorite takeout or celebrating small financial wins—to keep it positive and engaging.

Understand Each Other’s Money Mindset

Each person’s relationship with money is shaped by their upbringing, experiences, and values. Take time to understand your partner’s financial mindset. Are they a saver or a spender? Do they feel anxious about debt? Understanding these perspectives can help you approach discussions with empathy and find common ground.

Be Transparent About Your Financial Situation

Honesty is essential in any relationship, especially when it comes to finances. Share your full financial picture, including income, debts, credit scores, and savings. Transparency builds trust and allows you to create a realistic financial plan together. If this feels overwhelming, start small and gradually share more details over time.

Set Shared Goals

One of the most effective ways to align financially is by setting shared goals. Whether it’s saving for a vacation, buying a home, or planning for retirement, having common objectives can transform financial discussions from stressful to inspiring. Break these goals into manageable steps and track your progress together.

Create a Joint Budget—With Flexibility

A well-thought-out budget is a powerful tool for financial harmony. Start by listing your combined income and expenses, then allocate funds for essentials, savings, and discretionary spending. Remember to leave room for individual flexibility; this ensures that both partners have some autonomy while sticking to the plan.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If financial discussions consistently lead to conflict, consider seeking help from a financial advisor or couples therapist. Couples therapy, in particular, can help uncover underlying emotional triggers tied to money, improve communication, and strengthen your partnership. A therapist can guide you in developing healthier financial habits while addressing any lingering issues that might be impacting your relationship. Financial coaches can also help create a roadmap tailored to your unique situation.

Celebrate Milestones Together

Financial progress can feel slow, so it’s important to celebrate achievements along the way. Whether you’ve paid off a credit card, reached a savings goal, or stuck to your budget for six months, take time to acknowledge your hard work as a team. Celebrations reinforce positive behaviors and keep you motivated.

Overcoming financial discussions as a couple requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to collaborate. By fostering open communication, setting shared goals, and supporting each other through challenges, you can turn financial talks into opportunities to grow closer. Remember, it’s not about perfection but progress—and the journey is always better when you’re in it together. Every step you take toward financial harmony strengthens the trust and connection you share as a couple. Whether it’s tackling debt, planning for future dreams, or simply agreeing on a weekly budget, each discussion brings you closer to a partnership built on mutual respect and shared vision. Keep the focus on your shared values and aspirations, and let those guide your financial decisions. Together, you have the power to navigate any challenge and create a life that reflects both your hearts and your goals.

New Year, Same Me!

By Olivia Grossklaus, AMFT

While the idea of fresh starts and self-improvement is appealing as we move towards a new year, there’s often an underlying pressure to make resolutions that are big, bold, and transformative.

In the context of "New Year's resolution," a resolution refers to a commitment or decision made at the start of the new year to achieve a specific goal, improve a particular aspect of one's life, or adopt a new habit. However, the success of these resolutions can vary based on the clarity, feasibility, authenticity, and consistency of the goals set.

But why does creating resolutions at the New Year sometimes feel like such a daunting task?

Remaining Authentic

One of the biggest challenges of setting New Year's resolutions is the expectation of perfection. We often envision idealized versions of ourselves—someone who exercises every day, eats only healthy foods, reads a book a week, journals everyday etc. These goals are fantastic in theory, but they can quickly become overwhelming when we hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard that is likely misaligned with who we are authentically.

There’s also the tendency to compare ourselves to others. Social media can overwhelm us with success stories of people who have mastered the art of self-discipline or reinvented their lives “overnight”. This external pressure can make our own personal goals feel small, insignificant, or even unattainable. We feel like we "should" be doing more or achieving more, which only adds to the pressure and may cause us to veer further away from who we really are and what we really want.

Leave Room for Growth & Change

Setting resolutions is one thing; sticking to them over time may look entirely different. Life is unpredictable, and circumstances change. A goal that seemed achievable in the first few days of January can feel burdensome and irrelevant by February.

For many, this challenge is compounded by the fact that resolutions are often framed as all-or-nothing pursuits. If we slip up—whether it’s skipping a workout, missing a study session, or forgetting to journal a few days in a row —we feel like we’ve failed. This "black-and-white" thinking makes it harder to persevere when the going gets tough. The pressure to be perfect can lead to giving up entirely, rather than accepting that progress takes time and setbacks are normal. We as people grow and change over the course of the year, why can’t we allocate that same flexibility to our goals?

Wonderful Just The Way You Are

There’s an underlying cultural expectation that the New Year should be about self-improvement. Every year, we’re inundated with messages about becoming the "best version of yourself." This idea, while well-intentioned, often leads to feelings of inadequacy. It suggests that we’re not enough as we are and that we need to strive for constant improvement. This can leave us feeling like we’re perpetually "falling short" or never quite reaching our potential.

The focus on "better" also contributes to the fear of failure. If our resolution is about being more mindful, more successful, or more productive, it implies that the version of us before the New Year wasn’t good enough. The pressure to change, to be "better," can be exhausting and demotivating, especially if we don’t feel like we’ve made much progress.

Setting Mindful Resolutions

If the pressures of New Year’s resolutions feel overwhelming, it may help to reframe the way you approach them. Here are a few strategies to make resolutions feel less like a burden and more like an opportunity for growth:

1. Set Small, Manageable Goals: Break your resolutions into smaller, actionable steps. Focus on progress, not perfection. Small wins can add up over time, and they’re much more sustainable than trying to overhaul your entire life in one go.

2. Be Flexible: Life is unpredictable, and things won’t always go according to plan. If you miss a workout or a deadline, don’t throw your resolution out the window. Accept that setbacks are part of the journey, and adjust your goals as needed.

3. Focus on Well-Being: Instead of focusing solely on external markers of success—like getting promoted or writing a book—consider resolutions that support your mental and emotional health. A resolution to practice self-compassion, prioritize rest, or spend more time with loved ones can be just as impactful as any professional goal.

4. Embrace Authenticity: Instead of trying to become a "better" version of yourself, try focusing on becoming a more authentic version of yourself. Embrace where you are right now, and aim for growth from a place of self-acceptance, not self-criticism. It may even help to reframe “resolutions” to New Years “Suggestions” or decide not to set any at all.

5. Give Yourself Time: Remember that resolutions don’t need to be completed by December 31st, and new resolutions can be set later in the year, not only in the first week of January. It’s okay if progress takes longer than expected. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and sometimes, the most meaningful changes happen gradually.

As we enter the new year, it’s easy to forget that we’re not starting with a blank slate. The demands of everyday life—work, family, social obligations—don’t pause just because the calendar flips. Trying to juggle new goals while keeping up with existing responsibilities can feel like a juggling act that’s bound to fall apart. By merely being kinder to ourselves we can navigate the new year with a sense of purpose, flexibility, authenticity, and self-compassion.

As you step into the new year, remember: it's okay not to have everything figured out. What's important is that you're moving forward, one small step at a time.

Reflecting After Therapy

By Jessy Weston, amft

Therapy is a space for exploration, healing, and personal growth. While the time spent in a session can be transformative, much of the real work happens in the days between appointments. Reflection is a powerful tool to maximize the benefits of therapy and can help you deepen your self-awareness and understanding.

If you’re wondering how to make the most of your time between sessions, consider these ways to reflect and observe your experiences.

After Your Session: Pausing to Process

Take some time after your session to sit with what came up. What moments from the session stood out the most? Perhaps it was a moment of clarity, a difficult emotion, or even something that left you with more questions than answers.

Notice how you’re feeling, both emotionally and physically. Are you leaving the session feeling lighter, hopeful, or energized? Or are you feeling unsettled, exhausted, or reflective? There’s no right or wrong way to feel, but identifying your emotions and bodily sensations can help you connect more fully with your experience.

You might also reflect on whether you had any “aha” moments. Did something your therapist said click into place? Did you notice a new way of looking at a familiar pattern? These small epiphanies are worth holding onto as they can often guide you in your journey forward.

Observing Your Week Between Sessions

Therapy doesn’t stop when the session ends. The week between sessions is an opportunity to notice how the work you’re doing in therapy shows up in your daily life. As you move through your week, notice how you’re applying insights from therapy. Maybe you’re trying out a new coping strategy or challenging a negative thought pattern. Reflect on how these actions feel—are they helpful, awkward, or even challenging? It’s okay if things don’t click immediately; progress often happens in small steps. Or maybe you’re noticing moments when you feel particularly activated or calm. You can ask yourself what triggered these feelings as understanding these shifts can help you see connections between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Preparing for Your Next Session

Reflection also sets the stage for a more focused and productive therapy session. As your next session approaches, think about what you want to bring into the conversation. Is there something from the previous session that you’d like to revisit or clarify?

You might also reflect on what you’d like to prioritize going forward. Are there specific goals or themes that feel especially important right now? Therapy is a collaborative process, and your reflections can help shape its path.

Recognizing PTSD and the Path to Recovery

BY BREE MINGER, AMFT

As we honor those who have served and continue to serve this Veterans Day, it is important to discuss a diagnosis that impacts many people, especially veterans. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, commonly referred to as PTSD, impacts about 6% of the U.S. population. The disorder is even more likely to impact veterans. According to the Department of Veteran Affairs, 23% of veterans using VA healthcare will experience PTSD at some point in their lives. PTSD is much higher among veterans using VA healthcare because every veteran is screened for PTSD. Not every veteran uses VA healthcare, and many circumstances for civilians can result in PTSD; therefore, there are likely many people struggling with PTSD and going unnoticed in civilian healthcare. A friend or family member of yours may be grappling with symptoms of PTSD, regardless of military service.

What To Look For

Deployment, intense accidents, sexual assault, natural disaster, death of a loved one and countless other situations can result in PTSD symptoms for veterans and civilians. Symptoms can have lasting impacts on mental health, relationships and lifestyle. Here is what to look for: 

1. Intrusions: Involuntary memories like nightmares or flashbacks may feel so real, it is as though someone is re-living that moment. 

2. Avoidance: Perhaps they never want to go to a certain restaurant, or they don’t want to go for a bike ride. Avoiding activities, objects, places, or people related to a stressful and traumatic event may be a form of coping to forget and avoid how they felt during that time. 

3. Dark thoughts or emotions: experiencing lower mood, feeling angry, numb, guilty, shameful, or difficulty trusting others. These changes in mood can also result in feeling detached from others or much less interest in previously enjoyable activities.

4. Hyperarousal: They may feel on edge or easily startled. It may result in poor sleep, difficulty concentrating, irritability, or angry outbursts.

Most of these symptoms naturally occur within days after a traumatic event. In order to be diagnosed with PTSD, the above symptoms must occur for a month or longer and the symptoms must be significantly impacting the person’s functioning in daily life. If you notice these symptoms in yourself or a friend, it will be helpful to seek treatment. 

A PATH TO RECOVERY

Reaching out for help is often the hardest part for many people, but especially for those with PTSD symptoms, as avoiding memories and feelings about the event is natural. However, different forms of therapy can be helpful towards recovery. 

1. Talk therapy can be helpful to learn coping skills to manage symptoms and change negative thoughts or feelings into better ones about yourself and others. 

2. EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is especially helpful to reprocess a traumatic memory safely with a professionally trained EMDR therapist. 

3. Animal therapy leads to healing for many with PTSD. Whether a service dog, or equine therapy, the relationships formed with these animals can help to decrease symptoms of PTSD and improve quality of life. 

4. Medication can also be helpful to reduce symptoms and improve quality of life. It is important to seek medication from a psychiatrist and coordinate care with any other medical or mental health professionals. 

There is hope for healing. If you or a loved one is experiencing symptoms of PTSD, it is important to receive care. Look for a therapist or provider who can assist you as soon as possible. Other resources include: 

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Help Line: 1-800-950-6264

Suicide and Crisis LifeLine: Call or Text 988 

Veterans Crisis Line: Call 1-800-273-8255 or Text 838255

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/common/common_veterans.asp

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd#:~:text=People%20with%20PTSD%20have%20intense,or%20estranged%20from%20other%20people.

https://health.mountsinai.org/blog/how-can-you-tell-if-someone-you-know-may-have-ptsd/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20355973

https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments

Prioritizing Your Mental Health During the Holidays

By Nicole marino, amft

As we enter the winter months and into the holiday season, it is so important to make sure you are checking in with yourself around your mental well-being. The holiday season can evoke a wide range of emotions for people. While some look forward to celebrations, gatherings, and festive traditions, others may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even lonely. It’s important to recognize that mental health is just as crucial during this time as it is any other, potentially even more so. Here are some strategies to help manage your mental health during the holidays.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s so important to acknowledge and sit in the emotions that come up for you during the holidays, even the more “negative” emotions. It's normal to experience a mix of joy and stress. Journaling, talking to someone you trust, or meditating can be helpful ways to process emotions and identify what’s weighing on your mind.

Set Realistic Expectations

Holidays often come with high expectations, whether it’s creating the perfect get-together, finding the ideal gifts, or maintaining traditions. Try to set realistic goals and be flexible with yourself and your situations. Remember that it’s okay for things to not be perfect (they’re not meant to be!). Simplifying your plans can lead to a more enjoyable and less stressful experience.

Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is essential, especially during busy times. Carve out moments for yourself, whether that means enjoying a good book, going for a walk, or participating in your favorite hobby. Make a conscious effort to engage in activities that recharge your energy and bring you joy.

Reach Out for Support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Talk to friends or family (anyone you trust) about how you’re feeling or consider seeking professional help if needed. Sometimes, simply sharing your thoughts can lighten the pressure and emotional burden. Remember, you’re not alone in this experience and others can relate!

Create New Traditions

If certain traditions are a source of stress or sadness, consider creating new ones. This can be an opportunity to adapt your celebrations to better fit your current feelings and circumstances. Finding what works for you can foster a sense of new beginnings.

Limit Social Media Exposure

Social media can amplify comparison. It’s easy to get caught up in the seemingly perfect lives of others. If you find yourself feeling down after scrolling, consider taking a break from social media during the holidays. Focus instead on real-life interactions and experiences. Focus on the things going on in your life that you are grateful for.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a strong tool during the holidays. Taking a few moments each day to practice deep breathing, meditation, or grounding techniques can help reduce stress and increase your overall well-being. Being present in the moment allows you to appreciate the little joys that the season brings.

Give Back

Engaging in acts of kindness or giving back to the community can provide a sense of purpose and connection. Volunteering your time or resources can remind you of the positive impact you can have on others!

While this season of time can bring a lot of joy and happiness, it can also take a toll on your mental health. By using these tips and reminders, you can better navigate the season ahead and know what is going to be best for you and your emotions. Ultimately, your mental health is the priority so the holidays can look however you want them to!

Harnessing the Power of Awe

By Anne Decore, lmft

I recently attended a psychology conference in California where I had the opportunity to learn about the science of awe from Jonah Paquette, a clinical psychologist and author of the book “Awestruck: How Embracing Wonder Can Make You Happier, Healthier, and More Connected.”

So, what is awe and why is it important in our lives?

According to Paquette we can define it as “the feeling we get in the presence of something vast that challenges our understanding of the world.”

Vastness (perceptual or conceptual) and transcendence (assumption-challenging) are the two key components of awe. Awe is a universal human emotion found across all cultures, though there are individual differences in frequency of experiencing awe, and in sources of awe.

I invite you to try this quick mental exercise:

Think about a particularly awe-inspiring memory that you can recall.

Where were you?

Who were you with?

What was the experience like? How did your body feel?

How did you feel toward others?

What perspectives did you have?

You may have noticed from your personal recollection how awe served as a pathway into connection, compassion, curiosity, gratitude, optimism. In other words, awe increases important positive mood states. Studies show that awe activates areas in the brain linked to interpersonal bonding and the release of oxytocin. And, it reliably leads to a feeling of smallness relative to the world around us, a phenomenon known as “the small self”, where we feel linked to something greater than ourselves, increasing our sense of meaning.

In other words, awe induction is really good for us. How can you experience more awe-inspired moments? Look for it in the everyday. As Dr.Paquette puts it, “how many things in your field of vision are actually wondrous, but that we overlook every day?”

Here are some places likely to yield results:

Nature, science, timelessness & vastness, courage & inspiration, the arts, gratitude, social connection, new learnings.

While I was in California for the conference, I got to see fireworks light up the night sky beside a dear longtime friend of mine. The only thing better than awe is sharing it with others.

Falling Into Wellness: Navigating Mental Health This Autumn

By Olivia grossklaus, AMFT

As the leaves change and the air turns chilly, fall brings a blend of beauty and challenges. While many welcome the change of season from hot summer days to cozy autumn mornings, the shift in seasons can also have a profound impact on all of our mental well-being. Understanding these dynamics and embracing healthy habits can help all us navigate this transitional period with resilience and joy. Here’s how to prioritize your mental well-being this fall.

Embrace the Change, Both Inside and Out

Fall represents a transition, in weather and in life. Embrace this change as an opportunity for growth. Reflect on what this season means for you and how you can set new intentions. This could involve starting a new hobby, focusing on personal goals, or simply adopting a more mindful approach to your daily routine.

Despite the cooler temperatures, spending time outdoors can significantly boost your mood. The beautiful fall foliage and crisp air provide a refreshing backdrop for walks, hikes, or picnics. Nature has a calming effect, and exposure to natural light can help combat feelings of sadness. Aim for at least 20-30 minutes outside each day to reap the mental health benefits.

Acknowledge Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

For some, the onset of fall marks the beginning of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a type of depression that occurs at specific times of the year. The reduced sunlight can lead to feelings of sadness, lethargy, and isolation. If you notice these symptoms, know you’re not alone. It’s crucial to seek support, whether through therapy, support groups, or connecting with loved ones who may understand your experiences, or are just there to listen.

Maintain a Routine

As summer fades, many people experience disruptions in their schedules. Establishing a consistent daily routine can provide a sense of stability and predictability. Include time for self-care, work, social activities, and relaxation. A well-structured routine helps to manage stress and keeps you grounded during seasonal transitions.

Stay Connected

As the days get shorter, it’s easy to retreat into solitude. However, staying connected with friends and loved ones is essential for mental health. Schedule regular catch-ups, whether in person or virtually, and engage in group activities. Sharing experiences and feelings with others can provide comfort and support, making the transition into fall much easier. It is also important to stay connected with yourself and your needs during this transition. Journaling or scheduling in some quiet time throughout the day is a great way to do this.

Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

The fall season invites us to slow down and reflect. Incorporate mindfulness practices into your routine, such as meditation, journaling, body scans, or yoga. These activities can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety. Additionally, cultivate gratitude by taking time each day to acknowledge the things you appreciate, from the beauty of the changing leaves to the warmth of your favorite sweater.

Prepare for Winter

As fall progresses, it’s wise to prepare for the winter months ahead. Consider strategies to boost your mood during the darker days, such as investing in a light therapy box, planning winter activities, or scheduling regular check-ins with a therapist. Having a plan in place can provide reassurance and help you feel more in control.

While the fall season can present challenges to mental health, it also offers a chance for renewal and reflection. By acknowledging your feelings, prioritizing self-care, and staying connected with others and yourself, you can navigate this transition with grace. Embrace the beauty of the season, and remember that it is always okay to seek help if and when you need it.

Impact of Love Maps on Relationship Health: Building Stronger Connections

By Caroline NeaL, LMFT

In the quest for a fulfilling and enduring relationship, understanding your partner’s inner world is crucial. Dr. John Gottman’s concept of the “Love Map” provides a valuable framework for this understanding, revealing how deep knowledge of each other’s experiences, preferences, and emotions can profoundly impact relationship health. Here’s how Love Maps contribute to stronger, more resilient relationships and practical ways to leverage this concept for enhancing your connection.

What is a Love Map?

A Love Map is essentially a mental map that contains detailed information about your partner’s life. This includes their history, current concerns, future dreams, likes, dislikes, and everyday routines. Dr. Gottman’s research indicates that couples with well-developed Love Maps—where partners have a deep understanding of each other’s inner worlds—tend to have healthier, more satisfying relationships.

The Impact of Love Maps on Relationship Health

1. Enhanced Emotional Intimacy

A well-developed Love Map fosters emotional intimacy by allowing partners to connect on a deeper level. When you know and understand your partner’s fears, dreams, and values, you can respond to their emotional needs more effectively. This mutual understanding creates a sense of closeness and security, essential components for a strong, emotionally fulfilling relationship.

2. Improved Communication

Understanding each other’s Love Map leads to more effective and meaningful communication. When you are familiar with your partner’s background and current concerns, you can engage in conversations that are more relevant and empathetic. This deeper communication helps to avoid misunderstandings and facilitates a more open and honest dialogue, reducing the likelihood of conflicts and enhancing relationship satisfaction.

3. Increased Empathy and Support

A comprehensive Love Map enables you to be more empathetic and supportive. Knowing your partner’s struggles, aspirations, and preferences allows you to offer support that is truly aligned with their needs. This empathy strengthens your connection and demonstrates that you are attentive to their experiences, building a stronger foundation of trust and mutual support.

4. Stronger Conflict Resolution

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but how you handle disagreements can make a significant difference. When you understand each other’s Love Maps, you can approach conflicts with greater insight into your partner’s perspective. This understanding helps to address underlying issues more effectively and work towards solutions that respect both partners’ needs and viewpoints.

5. Greater Relationship Satisfaction

Couples with well-developed Love Maps often report higher levels of relationship satisfaction. This satisfaction stems from the feeling of being known and valued by your partner. The sense of being truly understood and appreciated contributes to overall happiness and fulfillment in the relationship.

Practical Steps to Develop and Maintain Your Love Map

1. Ask Meaningful Questions

Engage in regular conversations that go beyond everyday topics. Ask questions about your partner’s dreams, fears, and significant life experiences. For instance, inquire about their childhood memories, future goals, or what they value most in life. This helps to deepen your understanding and keeps your Love Map current.

2. Share Your Own Insights

A two-way exchange of information strengthens your Love Map. Share your own experiences, dreams, and concerns with your partner. This reciprocal openness fosters mutual understanding and ensures that both partners are equally invested in each other’s inner worlds.

3. Regular Check-Ins

Make it a habit to regularly update each other on changes in your lives. This could involve discussing new interests, recent challenges, or shifts in personal goals. Regular check-ins help keep your Love Map up-to-date and relevant, ensuring that you remain connected and informed about each other’s evolving needs.

4. Celebrate Each Other’s Achievements

Acknowledge and celebrate your partner’s achievements and milestones. Recognizing their successes and showing genuine interest in their accomplishments reinforces your knowledge of their goals and fosters a sense of shared joy and support.

5. Practice Active Listening

When your partner shares something with you, practice active listening. Show that you are fully engaged in the conversation by reflecting on what they’ve said and validating their feelings. This active engagement demonstrates that you value their perspective and are committed to understanding their Love Map.

Conclusion

The concept of the Love Map underscores the importance of knowing your partner on a deep and meaningful level. By developing and maintaining a comprehensive Love Map, you can enhance emotional intimacy, improve communication, and build a stronger, more resilient relationship. Investing in this understanding not only enriches your connection but also contributes to overall relationship health and satisfaction. Embrace the journey of exploring each other’s inner worlds, and let your Love Map be a guide to creating a deeper, more fulfilling partnership.

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples

By Jessy Weston, AMFT

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a leading approach in couples therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s. Grounded in attachment theory, EFT emphasizes the importance of emotional bonding in maintaining healthy, lasting relationships. Let’s explore the key highlights of EFT and why it’s so effective in couples therapy.

1. Focus on Emotional Bonding

EFT centers on the belief that secure emotional bonds are essential to relationship health. It helps couples understand and address their attachment needs—the desire for closeness, security, and connection. By focusing on these core needs, EFT aims to rebuild and strengthen the emotional bond between partners.

2. Identifying Negative Interaction Patterns

EFT helps couples identify and understand the negative interaction patterns that fuel conflict and disconnection. These cycles often involve blame, defensiveness, or withdrawal, which can erode trust. By recognizing these patterns, couples can start to break the cycle and create healthier ways of interacting.

3. Deepening Emotional Communication

Beyond surface-level discussions, EFT encourages couples to explore and express their deeper emotions and vulnerabilities. Therapists create a safe space for this emotional communication, fostering empathy and understanding between partners. This deeper connection enhances emotional intimacy and strengthens the relationship.

4. Repairing and Strengthening Relationships

EFT is particularly powerful in repairing relationships damaged by conflict or emotional wounds. By addressing the root causes of distress and fostering emotional responsiveness, EFT helps couples heal and build a more secure, resilient bond.

5. Proven Effectiveness

EFT is one of the most researched and validated forms of couples therapy, with studies showing its effectiveness in improving relationship satisfaction and emotional connection. The positive effects of EFT often endure over time, making it a reliable approach for lasting relationship improvement.

Emotionally Focused Therapy provides couples with a profound approach to healing and strengthening their relationship. By focusing on emotional bonding, breaking negative cycles, and deepening emotional communication, EFT offers a powerful path to lasting change. Whether you’re facing challenges in your relationship or seeking to enhance your connection, EFT can help you build a more fulfilling and resilient partnership.