Holidays with family — Blog — Focht Family Practice

As the holiday season looms, it can often bring feelings of joy, connection, and meaning, but it can also stir up stress, negativity, and overwhelm. Between family expectations, social gatherings, and the pressure to “make everything perfect,” it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs. As a therapist, I often remind clients that one of the most loving things you can do for yourself is to maintain healthy boundaries, especially during the holidays.

1. Clarify Your Values and Priorities

Before the season gets hectic, take a moment to reflect on what truly matters to you. Ask yourself: What experiences make the holidays meaningful to me? What drains my energy or causes resentment? When you know your “why,” it becomes easier to say no to things that don’t align with your values.

2. Give Yourself Permission to Say No

Saying no can feel uncomfortable, especially when traditions, family, or guilt are involved, but remember that every yes is also a no to something else. You might say no to attending multiple events so you can rest or spend intentional time with loved ones. You’re not being selfish; you’re protecting your emotional capacity.

“I’d love to celebrate with you, but I’m keeping things lowkey this year.” “Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t make it this time.”

Simple, respectful statements go a long way, and you’ll feel better that you honored your true feelings instead of saying yes to appease others.

3. Anticipate Triggers and Make a Plan

The holidays can resurface old family dynamics, triggers, or stressors. If certain situations tend to leave you feeling overwhelmed or hurt, plan ahead:

Set time limits for visits.
Have a supportive friend on standby to text or call.
Practice grounding strategies (deep breathing, walks outside, mindfulness).

Preparing for challenges doesn’t mean you’re being negative, it means you’re caring for yourself proactively.

4. Maintain Daily Routines Where Possible

Boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re also about saying yes to what keeps you well. Try to maintain your sleep, exercise, and overall routines as best you can. Even small acts of consistency can help you stay grounded amid the holiday chaos.

5. Remember Emotional Boundaries

You don’t have to engage in every conversation or absorb other people’s emotions. You can listen empathetically without taking responsibility for others’ feelings. Practice reminding yourself: “Their reaction belongs to them.”

6. Check in With Yourself Regularly

Notice when you feel tense, resentful, or depleted. These are signals that a boundary may need reinforcing. Self-awareness is your best guide. Give yourself permission to adjust plans if something no longer feels right.

By respecting your own limits, you make space for genuine presence, peace, and joy this holiday season. If this time of year feels particularly difficult, consider talking with a therapist who can help you explore these boundaries more deeply. You deserve to experience the holidays in a way that supports you and feels authentic to you. For more mental health tips around the holidays, check out my previous blog post here: http://www.fochtfamilypractice.com/blog/2024/11/1/prioritizing-your-mental-health-during-the-holidays